It's group blogging day for bloggers in bilingual relationships or with bilingual families. I probably should have mentioned this earlier but it's not to late. You can still post until midnight tonight! Just link your post to Fned's Blog when you do and she is going to link them all for some fun reading.
When Seb and I first met we spoke entirely in English for the first few years. I had no French at all because I was really just traveling through Europe and wasn't this francophile at all. France was just a pit stop.
After we met I started French from scratch with textbooks and CNED the French distance learning program, trying to learn on my own. We always tried to start speaking in French but it never worked because I never had enough vocabulary to get anywhere in the early days. We only spoke in French when we went places, --friend's homes for dinner, the in-laws and restaurants. Speaking French with Seb felt like acting. It still kind of does.
A few years ago when Little S was born we started speaking to him in our own languages, me in English and Seb in French. This made a peculiar thing happen because Seb started using French at home again. He now speaks in French a lot of the time at home and I speak English and we address each other in our respective mother tongues. We turn this feature off when we travel though and we use English. If we have friends for dinner in French we speak French to each other. This often carries on for a few hours afterwards. We got stuck in French after my argument with the in-laws and I found myself pouring out my heart to Seb on the way home in French because the argument with them had of course been in French.
Little S addresses each of us in our respective languages and he often tells me funny things like, "in French we say eau for water" or "in French we say chien" I wonder sometimes if he even thinks I know how to speak French because he always seems to be trying to teach it to me! Really though I think he's got the a-ha syndrome of suddenly realizing there are two languages. I do try to speak French to him if we are outside of the house with French people. The other day when his friend Thibaut came for a visit we spoke entirely in French all day. Little S ignored me a lot and gave me lots of sideways glances though when I told him what to do in French. It still feels strange to him when I address him in French, especially after our year in Mexico where the house went almost 90 percent English and at least 10 percent Spanish.
Little S speaks to his sister in French a lot of the time if they are one on one. Like I'll hear him explaining things to her and I'll be in the next room. I find this weird since I just kind of assume that English is his primary language. Maybe it's because he's trying to show her things and his teachers are French so he's teaching her in French.
It's fascinating living in a bilingual household but to be honest we don't really think about what languages we're speaking anymore. We just sort of use what works in that moment. And there is a lot of mixing.
What about you? Have you ever been in a bilingual household?
15 comments:
this is one of the things im looking forward to with having a kid, we would like to have The Husband speak only German to them. I don't really hear much German at all at home right now, just when he talks on the phone to his friends/family, but even with that after 5 years I've started to understand some.
We speak English to eachother 99% of the time. French if we are out with French speaking friends but otherwise there isnt really a good reason since its neither of our languages. Even if/when I learn German I think we will always speak English as his English is better than mine ;)
I try not to speak to Jack in English because I am so afraid he will take it as the go-ahead to speak to me in Italian and our days of English speaking will be over. I think I am excessively paranoid about this.
Most of our friends understand some English and my in-laws understand enough to know that I am not saying anything rude about them when I speak in English in front of them, so I usually just speak English to Jack and then repeat myself to everyone else in Italian if I feel the need.
I usually don't though. That's how rude I am. HA.
sara I somehow always assumed you were in a English/French household.
Jennifer - I don't speak to him in French at school because I have really been wanting him to feel secure there and English is our home language. The teacher talked to me and said maybe it would be good for him to speak more French around school. I can also see the English "bubble" is probably alienating him from the rest of the kids (and me from the parents!)
My husband is Indonesian. We met when I was living in Indonesia, and at that point, we spoke Indonesian 100% of the time, since he didn't speak much English at all, and we met at an Indonesian-speaking workplace. After a couple of years, he started studying English in earnest, and when we moved to the US, he suddenly became very fluent. We transitioned from primarily Indonesian to primarily English then, so he had more opportunities to practice. When Eggbert was born, we decided to do one-parent-one-language, so he only speaks Indonesian (and a little of his other home language, which I don't speak very well) to her, and I only speak English to her. The system breaks down when we talk to each other, though. Honesty I never pay attention, but I think that each of us pretty much speaks our own language to the other, but with nontranslatables or just favorite words from the other language mixed in. It's a bit of a mess. I'm trying to be more consistent now about speaking Indonesian to each other as well, since English is our dominant language outside of the home (even though we live in Korea--my Korean is abysmal, and my husband's is nonexistent).
I totally understand your reasons for speaking to S in French with this friends and around school. I have been tempted to do this too but I am too paranoid. Sometimes at the playground I do not speak at all purposely to keep anyone from noticing!
I love this topic - I could talk about it all day!
We mostly speak english together as a family at home (we are both native english speakers) and french when we are out. Although David is by far the better french speaker (having lived as a child in Switzerland) if we did one parent, one language, my french would never progress. So this works for us...
:)
sara - (the other sara --sometimes I get you two mixed up! :) You are a couple who was able to switch after starting in one language which is really rare!
Jennifer - I'm resisting the la maitresse's advice even if I do think it might be a good idea in principle.
Penny - Good for you for using French outside the home. That's so hard to do. We tried that in Mexico and it never worked.
I am in awe that so many of you speak two languages to your children. We are an English only household and I have always been fascinated that Little S is learning two languages. I have tried countless times to learn conversational Spanish as our Spanish speaking population is growing here in the US but I always seem to give up. I am fascinated by you all!! I would love to be a fly on the wall in your homes hearing these conversations!!
That's about how it goes around here, too. I'll try and do a post about it, we started out speaking english, but now, my husband almost only speaks in french.
I am finding it highly interesting to read the different points of view from mommy's raising bilingual children all over the globa (in addition to reading about Bilingualism in their couple of course).
That is so amazing about Little S already addressing you each in your respective languages! Goes to show how incredibly perceptive kids are!
Fned.
We met in the US, and I don't speak French. Too bad I didn't meet him a couple of years before, as I had been spending a ton of time with French speakers (in Thailand) and I may have made more effort to learn more, although I was busy learning Thai and Karen then... Once I returned to the US full time to be with Fredo, I wasn't exposed to French much. We always spoke in English. I've taken classes and tried a bit, but without being immersed (and rather being more daily exposed to Spanish), it's been hard to learn. Since A was born though I'm picking up so much more, since he speaks to her only in French.
Her language is really picking up now - more English than French in speaking, but she understands the French perfectly. She even seems to correct my French - or at least, she gets annoyed when I try to say something in French badly. I was singing Dora's "Sac a dos" and she said "No Maman! 'sac A dos!'"
A is starting to mix the two now though - she'll say "chaussock" instead of "chaussette" or 'sock', same with shoe "chasshoe."
You've inspired me now...I have to make a post about this.
btw - when in CH over the past couple of years I tried to avoid speaking in public at all, so it wasn't obvious I was American...now I feel differently :)
thats funny, i guess i never really mentioned it, The Husband is from Austria (born and raised).
cherise - "chausshoe" *lol*
The image of big brother teaching his little sister things in French is adorable! I've been really enjoying reading these perspectives on raising bilingual children as it's a topic we'll face in the future - thanks for sharing your approach.
This sounds exactly like our house, only replace "French" with "Swiss."
My older speaks to his baby brother in whatever language he was using last. I have a feeling as thew grow older they'll use Swiss together, especially in public.
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