We had a nice weekend in Th*non enjoying the fresh lake and mountain air and dreaming of our plans to eventually have our house back one day as a vacation house. That part was nice. Then there was the difficult part where the scar of leaving is still a little too fresh for me. I find it very hard to go back there for many reasons but mainly because of a silly detail. Our renter always invites us to lunch and I cannot tell you how odd it is to see him in my house, using my old dishes and my blender and cooking on my old stove. It would almost be easier if the whole situation was more anonymous and we didn't know the renter.
The urge to be there is so strong that it makes it hard not to have this strange stricken look on my face the entire time I'm in the house or walking around the city. I'm not exactly fun to be around and Seb doesn't stop asking if everything is okay. I try to explain to him the unexplainable, which is that I have no regrets about our leaving per se but I do have a hard time dealing with the heavy heart of our leaving and wondering what to do with it. I enjoy our new life in the Paris countryside but it's far too new to really appreciate and I don't know anyone yet so of course when we go back "home" my longing to be there is so strong that it's impossible to hide behind the cheery mask of everything is fine, fine, fine.
This may sound completely nuts but we actually asked our notaire (estate lawyer) if it was possible to back out of buying this house. It's a little scary to jump in to such a big project in this crazy global financial slump and we told him we were having second thoughts about signing on the house. Could we get out of it at this point? He told us what we thought, that we were now tied to the house and were already financially responsible for the full sum even if we hadn't officially signed so we may as well stick it out. We signed the papers and decided that come what may we were at least buying a house in a place where we knew rentals were difficult to come by and we could always rent the house if things bottomed out. Still it's hard not to have second thoughts about buying a second home in such a crisis. I kept waking up all weekend in the hotel saying "we must be out of our minds!"
We signed the papers in Th*non the next day, both kids crying and ill and us thinking we ought to maybe not stay the second night because the hotel was costing us a fortune that we shouldn't be spending right now. We stayed the night but we both felt it was time to go home, forget our old life and start concentrating on our new project, a financial boon or bust we can't really sure. It's too late anyway so we may as well jump in with both feet holding our nose for the plunge.
Scary.
In France you don't sign on a house with an agent but rather with a lawyer. Each side has their own if they like. Our Notaire is in Th*n*n where our old house is. He's someone we trust and like and he handled lots of little petty grievances our dragon lady neighbor brought us over the years. Notaires are like doctors in that when you find a good one you usually stick with them because they're handy to have a good relationship with.
7 comments:
Same deal with the Notaio here, except that we still haven't found the one for us.
Sorry it's so scary. It will all work out eventually. Big changes like that are hard, and going back to your old home probably doesn't make it any easier. Good luck! You will so enjoy bringing your Parisian countryside house back to life though. And if anyone is up to the job, it's you.
I can imagine how strange it is to go back to your place. I had my stomach in knots just thinking about someone else living in 'our' house.
I'm sure the new house purchase will pay off in the end. You're right, sometimes you just have to dive in!
I feel the same way when we return to Maine to visit my family. While I so appreciate my visits there, as the time to leave gets closer I become more and more quiet. I consider refusing to board the plane, but know how childish this would appear because in the end I have to get on the plane and come back.
I am sorry the visit was so hard for you.
Congratulations! You have always been one to leap into life wholeheartedly! That's one thing I hope you never change! I know it must be difficult to see the renter in the home you poured so much of your soul into. But it is still your home! Don't worry, your community will build in time, and paying attention to all of the little details of your budget will pay off. Your children will definitely thank you for the scrimping and saving and scrubbing and fixing you are doing now.
It was just a natural case of cold feet. Thanks so much for the votes of confidence.
Buying a house is always a hugely stressful event and in today’s financial situation it’s no wonder that you are even more worried. In fact if you weren’t worried that would be very scary. . . This combined with the fact that you were in your old town that you love makes it even harder. As it sounds that you aren’t yet in love with your new town, but I’m sure that will come.
The whole country is starting to feel ‘La Crise’, people are worried about their futures, their job security, and the debts they have around them and what’s down the road for them.
In my job the work has really dried up so who knows what will happen, they are talking of transferring one person. I don’t think I have any worries about losing my job totally, as I’ve worked for the company for over 15 years and it would cost a lot to get rid of me, and it’s a really big company. However I may end up in a job that I don’t want to do, where as know I really enjoy my job, but that would be better than nothing. . . as they say time will tell for all of us !
Pauline
MY heart sinks for you. I actually feel so close to you when you talk about your old house, knowing that is was not far from where I left my heart...
Good luck with everything and there is always hope! I'm sure everything will work out as it has this far!
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