Almost gone

Well here we are just a few short weeks away before we leave. Both houses are officially rented, "whew" . It's such a relief to tie up all the loose ends. These last few weeks with finishing up our Paris house has been exhausting. We were a little surprised that the first person to see the house wanted it and wanted it fast. They were a couple who dropped in right before Christmas and honestly I thought they hated the house by all the husband's snarky comments, but it turns out I was wrong. He's egocentric as they come, a professional sport instructor in a very snooty sport. I got the bad energy vibe off of him, flashing red lights, sirens-- the works, but Seb was too nervous to listen to me. He just wants the house rented as soon as possible so we wouldn't be stuck, which I could understand but I still think it might have been wise to choose the person better so as not to be stuck worse a lot later. I relented against my better judgement, or should I say against feminine instinct--usally a very bad idea. So they're in the house and there isn't much else to say. I hope they just stay quiet, pay the rent and don't wreck the house. So far they're doing one of the three. Complaining seems to be a sport that the new renter also teaches. We have to replace the basement's back door and put in an electronic gate before April *rolling eyes* He told us all this after we signed the rental agreement papers which I thought already showed a lot of underhandedness. When we buy and renovate these old houses I never dream that one day we will rent them. Renting out an old place is just trouble because honestly he can pick the house apart every month if he really wants to. There are a lot of problems in a hundred year old house and he just didn't seem like the type to overlook squeeky door hinges and rooms with "character." My alarm bells we're going off for a reason.

The house looked really nice when we were finished and it was very hard not to feel like we were making a big mistake. I had light switches that worked everywhere and TWO bathrooms. My bedroom extension was completely finished with a modern shower and sink. It was a dream house! After two years of major MAJOR sacrifices and the worst marriage strain imaginable it was incredibly hard to just walk away last week and say "okay let's go, ASIA yay!" I guess maybe it's all the extra baggage of a mature adult that makes adventuring tough. It's the desire for security and nice things. I'm just going to muddle through it though and let the house and all that go. There damn well better be adventure on the horizon or I'm going to be really pissed off. And the light switches better work in our Shanghai apartment!

The Fisherman's house is only rented for a few months to someone we have close ties to. This is giving us time to come back to France this summer. After that we can evaluate things and decide if we want to rent it for a full three year bail or continue to rent it off season. I'm looking forward to summer break already. I think a French Alpine vacation will definitely be in high order after a few months in Asia adapting to expat life.

We haven't done much in the way of preparing our leaving with all the keys being passed and last minute painting (Mister Ego made us paint the living room a third time). I still have a list a mile long to cross off. I'm not even sure that I'll get through it in time. As I said before this is the difficult part of the moving, the details, the stress the waiting in line before the ride. It really bites.

This week I met an American on my street in TLB. She's really nice and I think we'll become friends. She's about my mom's age. I look forward to getting to know her better this summer. She's one of these really interesting international ladies, citizen of the world types that you can talk with for hours.

I'll do a picture post soon with photos of the finished Paris house. As if destiny wanted me to not dwell on it too much my camera battery died on my last visit to the house and I'd brought the wrong Canon charger. I could only take a few pictures.

I better run. I've got a few things to check off my list. brb!

So long

It's the last day of school for Little S today and it also represents the beginning of our move next week and the change from public school to home school. I haven't packed much or seperated much--too overwhelming I guess. I'm feeling very lazy as the holidays approach. Or maybe it's a form of denial.

It's hard saying goodbye to friends and I'm terrible at it. My neighbors get teary eyed and I don't know what to say. I've moved around my whole life. It's second nature to me. There is something in me that doesn't get too attached to people, or that won't let me fall in to that trap I suppose. I'd much rather shrug and say à bientôt! than speculate about when we'll possibly next see each other. It's my little defense armour but of course deep down inside there is a twinge of regret about not being here anymore.

It's much harder saying goodbye to their kids. They'll grow up and change and I'll miss that. A small group of Little S's friends are at our house so often it feels like they're part of our family. It's hard to just say so long to them.

I'll be signing off until after the New Year. We have a few months in Th*n*n before we leave and we'll be transferring life there for a little while. Until then Happy Holidays and have a pleasant New Year!

In a nutshell

"...lots going on so this is just the bits all scattered in one post as they pop in my head"

We've had a lot of snow and it's been really pretty. I'm really enjoying the views of our backyard. We do have a gorgeous piece of property which I love. I'm going to miss my trees.

I bought a new sewing machine to replace my Mexican one which although it adapted to our current okay with a transformer, it had bobbin issues and needed a tune up. Taking it to the repair shop with the transformer seemed daunting. I just decided to buy a new low budget one and will be giving this other one to my sister to take back home next time. Now I just want to attack sewing projects but we have the move coming...dread!

My neighbors (ie local girlfriends) strongarmed me into having a Christmas party this coming Saturday. I'm not so sure it's such a good idea. The adult part sounds fun to me but thirteen unsupervised kids tearing through my house scares me a bit. It's too late to back out but I did consider using gastro as an excuse once or twice.

Little S's bully is at it again and now has stolen his new hat. I'm really mad because this kid is a terror and bullies all the little ones at his school but especially S. He's stolen lots of things from S over the past few months including his entire Dreamworks card collection. This was a really nice ski hat I bought in the alps and gave to S to wear recently because it's been so cold so he stole MY favorite ski hat, little f*cker. Why are 12 year olds stealing hats from six year olds on the playground anyway? Who's watching what's going on? Tomorrow I think I'm going in to see the directeur and I'm going to ask him that very same question. SO, so, soooooo happy to be done with public school in one week and "Jordan" The Terror.

I'm really into all my Steiner books right now and currently reading John Holt, on my second book now, but usually divided between two or three books at a time. It's great reading and I can't get enough of it. I just wish I could get Seb to read some of this so I'd have someone to discuss it with. He doesn't have time but I think it's important, especially the Steiner because it's important to understand the why. I'm trying to concentrate on building my knowledge of Waldorf/Steiner schools and not so much focusing on homeschooling right now. It occurs to me I'm actually doing my teacher training that I'd wanted to do this year. I can see from the readings that I would be a wonderful Waldorf school teacher and I would love every second of it. I guess I get my wish as far as being a Steiner school teacher but I hope the homeschooling aspect of it works out. Loving the pedagogy and teaching a homeschool version of it may be two different things. I also feel like I don't know near enough about Steiner to insert this into my home without it feeling stiff. It's very vast and I want to know it all before I start, but it's practically impossible because Steiner runs deep let me tell you!

Seb has been gone for the last eight days but he comes back tomorrow. The things we get used to. I don't know why we're always apart. I'll be happy to see him back home for a bit.

We move our things out of the house in 12 days. That seems impossible to imagine. After that we're living out of suitcases. Kind of adventurous so I don't mind but it is kind of nuts. I was explaining to Charlotte why we couldn't put a Christmas tree up and then I just gave up. We went to the store and I bought a few decorations which we hung on the doorknobs. Voila! ummm ....Christmas, yes. I say that but it's hard for me to let go of the holidays this year. I know it's important to let go of all that sometimes and I'm trying. I just hope I won't have a meltdown at mil's.

I ordered all the kids gifts off of Etsy. I found some wonderful things! I encourage everyone to buy handmade next holiday. I'm so excited to see their gifts because they're really special. I tried to order for my family too but had some logistical problems with address changes and international credit card orders-- anyway I was happy to at least do most of my shopping this way.

The picture at the top of this post is of some snowflakes we made and then painted using Steiner wet-on-wet painting which I love btw. They're really pretty like stained glass in the daylight. I cut them out and the kids paint them although S is starting to get the hang of cutting them out. I'll try to post an atelier about them but I bet I won't have time. So very quickly I'll say: watercolor papers, paints, scissors (scrapbooking scissors are fun too!)--snowflakes-- just follow pdf instructions found easily on internet and then, drop flakes in a waterbath for a few minutes, and then watercolor using primaries only (RBY). Let dry on a radiator and be careful because they're fragile.

Hopefully I'll get a few more posts in before we tranfer ourselves to Th*n*n at the end of December. We're spending winter break in the alps before we leave! yippee!

Two houses

We spent a wonderful long weekend in Th*n*n hanging out at our house and tying up a few loose ends. It just feels like home when we're there in a way I can't really express. We both feel really relaxed in that house and we really just want to kick back and put a tool belt on and finish the house. The desire is strong to stay and just dive into projects that we end up doing just that the whole time we're there. The house is on the market for rent btw. I hope we find someone. My attempts at getting someone to work on the house for free rent has been a bust so far.

Here in the Paris 'burbs our house is nearly done and we've had a few visits, all very positive! The agents last week were so enthusiastic we felt really motivated to finish the last few splatters of paint we have to do. They loved all the decorating and told us they had a few clients in mind who would love the house. I felt really good because honestly the first agent who came through the house a few months back in the cheap polyester suit was really negative, almost mean. She said we should leave the house very generic because clients will want to put their own stamp on the house. She wrinkled her nose at my rustic/modern doors and said not everyone likes a red kitchen. Poo on her! The new agents were sleek and stylish, square glasses and Chanel purses. I was really nervous after the first agent had been so critical but at the same time I was curious what they'd think. They just seemed so different from her. It ended up that they loved everything and they even told me I should get paid to decorate which made Seb have to down some serious humble soup. Oh and guess which agency we're going with?

We have lots of work to do over the next eight weeks. We're back in the fire pit and we're leaving at Christmas. How insane is that? All the kids presents have to fit our suitcases. It's going to be a minimalist holiday which is just fine by me because that's become my new motto anyway--less is more.

Country walks

We've been out walking nearly every day of this little school break. It's been wonderful to have the time to explore with the kids, peeking under rocks and mushrooms, climbing on hills, collecting treasures. Yesterday we walked for nearly four hours, cut through a farmer's field and came out practically at our front door. The kids were so excited to find a secret path leading right to our house, but I was a little nervous about getting caught trespassing on mister grumpy farmer's property. I just kept humming "This land is your land" in my head and keeping my head low.

As I was walkin', I saw a sign there
And that sign said - no tress passin'
But on the other side, it didn't say nothing
Now that side was made for you and me.

I hope we aren't crazy for leaving behind our little slice of paradise. I'll be on a quest when we get to Shanghai to find the best park in the city. One where you can walk on the grass and sit under a tree, I would hope. If I remember correctly this was the most difficult part of expat life in Mexico for me.

The price

We've been getting lots of interest in our house lately, three people in the last two weeks have come up to me and asked about the house. It kind of freaks me out mostly because the idea that we're leaving starts burning in my brain and suddenly I see the person in front of me IN my house and ME where will I be? Well, I guess I know I'll be somewhere but you know it's just odd to talk to a mom I've never met on the sidewalk about such things and see how much gossip travels because they know so much about me.

So what I do is I usually just tell them that we'll be using an agency and they can contact them when the time is right but then each time they PRESS and PRESS to come and see the house, just to get an idea, like yesterday. I finally had to invite the woman for coffee because she just wasn't going to give it up. She seemed nice and she has said hello to me a lot and always smiles so I didn't mind inviting her but my problem is talking about money because to be honest I don't think she can pay what we're asking. It's not that I'm sitting in judgement or anything but I know the market of the village as well as most real estate agents and I know her current house near the school--a sort of apartment, and mine is probably going to be on the rental market at a third more than hers. I feel like it's going to be a waste of time. It's also my third go in a few weeks at people asking me about the house so I know that the price is a conversation stopper. Our house seems small and unfinished from the outside because we haven't finished painting the gates yet and the front garden still need tilling and replanting,--slated for next month but looking pretty run down today. It definitely doesn't look tip top yet and we still have tools all about so it has an air of distress about it. And so lots of people are intrigued by the idea of taking on a stubbly old house and maybe getting some compensation for doing a little fixing up. And when I finally come to the uncomfortable part of saying the price they flutter and fan their face and say "well I'll have to think about it."

I suppose I'll see if she's interested or not next week over coffee. She already mentioned that her husband is a handy guy and that they'd like to avoid agency fees if at all possible so I'm prepared for the face fanning ahead of time.

And just for the record nobody can talk me out of using an agency this time. I wouldn't even rent to my own brother without an agent involved. Fool me once!

Nostalgie

It's the last day of the school year for my little guy and his last day of maternal (kindergarten) *sniff* Next year it's off to the big school. Lots of changes for someone so little. He seems to be handling things okay though. He's used to change I guess.

We had a fabulous going away-end of school year party for him on Wednesday in our backyard--pretty much the same party we had last year. About 25 kids came with their moms and even some dads showed up this time. It was a big barbecue and everyone brought a dish of some kind, tons of great food. Since we don't have the front gate on the house yet some kids just drifted in from the neighborhood which was funny. It was to the point where I was afraid we'd get a fine for not having a permit or something,--so many cars lined up on the street! We made sure to have a giant water balloon fight--which was probably why we had so many strays show up---they saw us filling them in the driveway. I filled over a hundred balloons and they were gone in minutes. Like last year we put a little baby pool at the bottom of our giant slide and then we watered down the slide so it was really slippery. Great fun but really, really exhausting to organize everything. I love party planning though. If we weren't so saturated with the move and the renovations I'd have been more relaxed about it all.




The real estate agent came and estimated the house. She liked what we've done with everything and said it should rent fairly fast especially because now because it's the renting season when everyone looks for a place. The sign goes up next week. Yep, It feels real now. Once the house is rented there's no turning back for three years. Butterflies! The weird part is that we don't have a place to live in Shanghai yet. I don't think we'll have time to go visit again before we leave either. We just have our preferences registered with a few agencies. Oh well, I think in some kook way that there's a place meant for us so if we can't go find the rental right now I don't want to push it. We'll find something the week we arrive. More butterflies!

Seb has his 40th birthday this month and I can't organise anything. I gave it a go but it just got so overwhelming that I gave up. My in-laws won't come and I didn't feel like begging,--no energy--but I did feel like they wanted to be enticed to come. I'm tired of paying their hotel each time they come so I think it's best for everyone if we just let it go. I feel awful but I think his going to Shanghai is a big present anyway. I mean what more could a change of life birthday offer? I'm not sure what to do so last minute though. The movers come the week after his birthday so I think if we try to do something we're just going to be stressed thinking of that the whole time.

Today I organised a picnic because it's my cantine day anyway. Once a week I take three kids plus mine and feed them lunch and the other moms take them the other days. It's worked out well and it gives me time to do plaster and paint on the days I don't have to go get Little S. Because it's the last day of school today though I'm taking three other kids out with us,--eight kids! I just couldn't think of S's other little friends stuck inside on the last day. The cantine at his school is really loud and the kids all hate it (which is why we started the cantine club). It should be fun. I'm taking them to a little river in the park by the school. They're all excited.

I think I found a job too. I won't jinx it but if it works out I'll start in September. I should know more in the next few weeks. I hope it works out. I've already signed up for classes and I don't want to cancel them so the job has to work around my schedule. Fingers crossed.

Is sucks

Last night I was really, really tired and I just fell exhausted in my bed. I'd painted doors most of the morning. The three panel doors in our house are a bitch to paint and they take three coats. I'm on the third of seven doors. The job seems...not wait IS endless. I only have to do one side. I'm leaving the other side rustic like I talked about in a post way back when renovating was my part time job instead of my FT overtime job. It looks good that way plus saves time and lord knows I need it. In the afternoon I'd promised to babysit for my neighbors new baby and I stayed at her house until after six, partly because I think I didn't want to go back home and face Hell House.

Okay well Hell House is starting to come together but still it's not exactly a haven of comfort and respite.

Tomorrow the movers come to evaluate our things, just an evaluation, and later in the day the real estate agent comes to tell us how much we can rent the house for. It's starting to feel like the end of things here. The mover coming doesn't freak me out but the estate agent does. I would give anything not to have to rent my house and just the idea of having her poke around evaluating things and the idea of people coming to see my house in a few weeks is so weird. Seb can very easily think about the money in a case like this but I have a hard time doing it. The other day my neighbors were over and they started joking that they'd have to approve our new tenants too so they'd be sure and get along with them. I felt awful. It never occurred to me until then that the new renters would not only have my house but also have my little circle of friends.

The disconnecting part is hard. I know once you're gone and over on the other side everything gets pushed back in your mind but for now it's right there pulsing in my throat.

Little S's teacher wrote in his evaluation that he would need an aide next year in cp (first grade) and I was really surprised and upset. She knows we're leaving and I think this is just her fears showing but it really threw me for a loop. She's never said that in the past or she's always just said "we'll see how he does" but now this is her telling us that without help he'll fail next year. I like his teacher but she is a bit small minded and you can hear the shock in her voice when we talk to her about S's new school. She thinks we're taking him down a river with a bunch of rice paddies on each side. His new school seems really nice and just as normal as his school here. I can't help but be worried though after reading that. After all we've been through with him this year--two psychiatrists, a school psychologist, a play therapist and an orthophonist evaluation and no real problems to pinpoint I was hoping for the best for next year. The bottom line is that I just don't want him to be unhappy. Of course that's why her note scares me because I don't want him to feel inferior to everyone else. I don't really care about his level as long as he's happy at school and home.

We aren't upset about leaving so I hope the tone of these posts don't sound depressed or overly anxious. I just wanted to write down all these feelings and the start of our big adventure even if it is SUCKS (as Seb says--I still laugh when he says that and he still says it--one of his cute errors of speech like "open me the door"). No we're really excited about leaving. The thing is there is no joy yet because we're so bogged down with details. The joy comes when we get on the plane with the cat (another worry!) and the kids. That's when we can start looking forward. For now looking forward is just another annoying detail in the long, long list.

I think I have some doors to paint and some plaster to mix. I'd better get back to work. Sorry if I owe you phone calls or e mails or whatnot. Life should eventually return to normal.

Free fall

The weekend is gone already and we spent another Saturday and Sunday buried in little projects. Our list is never ending!

Seb was gone all last week to Shanghai to do some apartment hunting and to sort of start his new job. He also looked around and found the school for the kids, the French school. It's so hard to think of the kids changing schools (S's teacher got all teary-eyed the other day) but we're thinking if they must it's best to let them stay in the same language and culture. I'm turned off by all the other schools mainly because of the price. The American-English schools cost a small fortune. Even though the company is paying in our case I just can't imagine paying what they're asking at these schools! I'm also afraid of the large classes and the potential for spoiled brats in these overpriced school.

The housing is easy. We picked an apartment complex in the suburbs that has just about everything,--sport club, sauna, basketball courts, a few playgrounds and even a small grocery store. We're in the 'burbs but there's a metro line right around the corner and of course taxis are cheap so it's easy to get around without a car. We really had no choice but to be in the burbs since Seb works in the industrial zone in the southeast part of the city and the kids have their schools there too. What a lifestyle change though. I always said I'd never live in an apartment and I believe this is in my blog somewhere too from around the time we lived in Lyon's suburbs. I'm trying to be really cautious this time so we don't get stuck in a noisy, cold, smelly, moldy place. The Lyon apartment was really noisy.

It's hard to do a housing search by internet and not get to see things in person except through your husband. I think there could be a giant banana factory on the ground floor and Seb would say "uh, yeah it was pretty nice." He doesn't say much. I guess he just doesn't have the female gene where you notice everything like a radar detector going off "beep-beep-beep Noise Potential--beep-beep Potential Child Hazard!" He just tells me everything looks nice but doesn't say much else. He did tell me how many tvs are in the apartment though. He was all excited because one apartment had a tv in the bathroom. Great. (although I have to admit that the tub is my favorite place and popping in a movie during a bath sounds like a great idea--yeah like that's gonna happen with kids in the house).

We didn't make a decision yet except for the complex itself. We're still waiting for something on a high floor but not too high. Seb has vertigo and he refused to even step near the terrace when the estate agent took him to see something on the 14th floor. He said floor seven or lower and I said floor three or higher so we'll have to wait until something opens up or else I'll be having apéro alone every night enjoying my terrific view by myself.

When Seb left from home last Saturday evening he left from a our neighborhood block party in the center of town. These little Répas Quartier are popular in France in small villages during the spring and summer. He was trying to be Multiplicity Man and do all the possible things he could before leaving for China so he actually left directly from the dinner in his taxi, only staying about thirty minutes to chat with the neighbors over a glass of wine. I stayed on with the kids and about forty minutes after he left I was just sitting down to a big plate of pasta salad with fresh melon and mint when I got a call from Seb. "Uh, I think I forgot the credit card." "Oh my god when does your plane leave!?" "Umm in a little over an hour. Do you think you could bring it to me?" I didn't really have a choice. I threw down my plate, left Little S with my neighbor, took Charlotte and DASHED. The credit card was on the table next to the map I'd bought for him (that he basically grunted at and threw aside) and I threw it in my bag and made for the fastest airport run ever. I hate night driving because I can't see very well and I had just had two glasses of wine at the party. Talk about stress! Seb was waiting outside the terminal and I have no idea how I found him in all the chaos of Roissy but I did somehow and he rushed off for his plane. I went back to the party and got Little S and we made off for home with Charlotte SCREAMING because she'd missed the party or wanted a drink...or was tired. I'm still not sure. This was the theme of the whole week.

On Tuesday night I squeezed in a soireé fille with my neighbors and we had a great time laughing, drinking and eating. We reduced the group to just four (secretly) and it was so much more fun than with the group of ten that we usually have. It was my turn to be host but people kept cancelling so I gave up and said I'd do it next month (not sure how with all we have going on!) Then my neighbor offered to be host with just our small close knit group but no more because she has a new baby and the group of all ten can get pretty loud. I'm going to miss my monthly soireés. It's to the point where we've all shared enough in the past two years that we have funny stories to share like my famous salad chute when I was with my neighbor at the Fete de le LO --made her pee her pants because she laughed so hard. And we know all the town gossip so there's a lot of stories to rehash like the dad who divorced and then remarried in the village last year. He has one kid by the first marriage in S's class and another by the new wife in the same class who's mentally handicapped and hyperactive. PLUS the new wife got pregnant and had a baby a few months ago. Who needs daytime dramas when you have small town France?

We're making a lot of progress on the house and that's another thing I did last week non stop--painting! It's gotten so Charlotte sees the paint pot and screams "no more painting mom....NOOOO" I feel pretty much the same way. All I do is fill holes with plaster and paint. I still have all the door frames to strip, nearly all the interior doors to paint, all the exterior iron to paint, the living room and the bathroom to fill and repaint and partially drywall and about ten million other small projects not to mention landscaping which is at least a three weekend project because seb tilled all the front yard six weeks ago but never planted any grass. We also have the third bedroom to build and we have just ten weeks left (minus a week where we have to go to China to secure the apartment and schools). We also have to sort and pack and cancel cell phone contracts and whatnot. Oh yes and find a renter for the house. Just typing that overwhelms me.

It's the same feeling as doing a free fall jump. All the anxiety of it makes me want to turn around and say STOP...NO...I can't freaking do this!! but then you know you DO do it and you feel all the excitement and exhilaration afterwards. Right now we're standing on the ledge and it's looking a little nuts. I just want to get to the other part. Oh and get past all the goodbyes. I hate the goodbyes.

Finishing projects

There's so much going on that thinking of blogging just overwhelms me. I can't even imagine where to begin! I figured I'd better just jump in and write though. Here's some of what's going on...

The dining room is finally officially in the done bin this week and now we're working on finishing all the details in the kitchen. The whole house is coming together really well but we're exhausted. We feel like we're in some kind of reality tv show racing against the clock. The pressure is nuts. Every single day of the week we paint and sand and fill holes and supervise jobs. It looks like it will be like this until the day we leave.

We're excited about leaving and we have to do another checkout visit before we leave in August. I'm not sure how we'll squeeze it in but the kids aren't enrolled in any schools and we have no place to live. Somehow this doesn't worry me much.

I'm sad to leave our little village life and the friends we've made. I don't talk much about this but this is the first time in France I've had this kind of support group and this many French female friends. I sometimes feel like I'm making a big mistake but the 'adventure is worthwhile in itself ' phrase keeps popping in my head cheering me on. After all three years is nothing much in the grand scheme of life.

I'm really going to miss my big backyard and I'm going to be jealous of whoever rents my house and gets to sit in my garden. We'll be living in an apartment in China. I wish we could take pieces of our life here with us.

I won't miss all the stairs in my house. It will be nice to live all on one floor.

I won't have a car because nobody really drives in Shanghai. We'll use public transportation for three whole years. It's the first time since I got my license that I won't have a car. I think these past few months have been a good primer for being carless.

And that's about all I have time for now!

Wallpaper clause

Painting is so relaxing and mediatative and it's the perfect activity for anyone at the crossroads of anything in their life. But then standing back you look at the wall and say to yourself "I love this room that color is perfect!" knowing full well you're probably painting it for someone else. There in a nutshell was my weekend, --lots of "ahhh!" "oohhhh".... "agh!"

The decision isn't made just yet and there is always the posibility that other things will come up. Seb is still job hunting as he has been for the last six months but pickings are slim and there isn't much out there. It's not that I'm against going, it's just the international move groan issue. It's paperwork, sad goodbyes, language, internet issues, new schools, moving companies, boxes and all that scratched furniture. And it's all the lost time. It's an entire summer of preparing and then six month of settling. Afterwards it's exciting though I have to admit.

So we're waiting but meanwhile sort of preparing for the move just in case. It takes about two months for contract negotiations so that buys us time to think things over. Meanwhile I'm not buying another car just yet and bummming rides right and left which is awful, and as soon as summer comes Seb has to give back his company car so we'll both be carless which will be funny. Kind of like life has decided things for us. In the not buying a car issue people around us have figured out that our faux checkout visit was for real and so now everyone around us knows we might be leaving. I only said "psst" to one person in the village, the person who usually takes S to school in the mornings, and within two days I had the wife of our carpenter asking me what we'd decided. Within another week people started asking us about renting the house. Welcome to small town life! I have since told everyone that we've decided no because it was annoying to have people surveying our property for potential renters. Anyway we already talked to a real estate agent who told us we'd rent the house easily and for a lot more money than we even thought so no more renting to people we know--huge mistake we won't make again!

Of course like I said we have to finish the house.

The question is would you finish the house the way you had it in your head or would you leave it all white and generic? I was really disappointed with all this news because I wanted to finish the damn house and paint it. In France paint is three times the price it is in the US and England. I wanted to paint and finish the kitchen like I have it in my plans (Ikea kitchen by the way so not super expensive) but then I know that somone who rents can just repaint or *gasp* wallpaper *shudder* right over my pretty mid-century red-orange wall. Oh well, I dove in and painted it anyway.

I keep having flashbacks to when my mil moved in to their house a few years ago and said they hated the ugly peach vinyl wallpaper. While we were in Mexico they told us they'd changed it and we were thinking "good they finally updated it" but then when we finally saw it, it was replaced with this loverly dark blue vinyl wallpaper with a flower basket border at the top. And they were standing there all proud saying "oh thank go we got rid of that awful peach!" When I was painting yesterday the visions of that wallpaper kept floating back in my mind.

Is it possible to put a no wallpaper clause in a renters contract? This is the one thing that will keep me up at night worrying if we leave.

(btw our renter in the other house painted huge black chinese letters all over the kitchen walls--no idea why--yes I know the irony of it, anyway he also has a buddha altar and he installed candle holders in the wall, screwed in sconces right over the cat dish...I thought about that too when I was painting yesterday with my expensive French paint)

Decisions

I've been hiding out lately and I suppose I have a good reason for it. When I said in my last post that my head was in Asia I wasn't kidding. We went on that trip for a check out visit and sort of laughed and said "hey free vacation for us!," but then when we came back Seb's boss offered him a really good benefits package to go so now we have to decide for real if we want to go, oops. I really hadn't thought about going for real. I like our life here aside from all the chaos of renovating (and the hell year). I don't feel ready to rip everything apart again.

But then another part of me says "go! travel! see the world!" (while you can). I hate that part of me.

And then Seb is in the middle of a company which has been bought out so if he says no to Asia he has to go back in the big pond and we'll likely have to move again since he'll certainly change jobs. At least if we go to China we'll be able to hold on to our house and we can just rent it for a few years.

But then again we'll have to finish it....completely.

*sigh*

The hamster wheel

Whew! our return week has turned out to be a busy one so I haven't had any time to blog about China or even upload my photos. We still have all our suitcases lying about. My in-laws were here to drop off the kids and they stayed a few extra days. It's always hard having visitors when you yourself have just gotten back from a trip. What can we say though because they did really help us out by watching the kids.

On Tuesday morning as I was getting Little S shuttled out the door for his school field trip to a this really pretty chateau in the Oise (French kids are SO spoiled) I got a "where are you!!?" phone call from a mom, or maybe I should say a "Where WERE you!?" phone call because apparently the rendez-vous for the field trip was thirty minutes before school started and they left without Little S. Of course typical small town style everyone knew about the early meeting time because it was discussed ad nauseum the week before in front of the school while we were in China, so poor us we were completely out of the loop. What's funny is that someone actually did call me to remind me about the picnic lunch but then didn't bother to tell me about the early leave time. It seemed typically French to me to worry about the food and not the most important thing! Anyway everyone said "tant pis" and "oh well," even the teacher who I called on the bus, but I did the American mom thing which was to jump in the car with the two kids and drive the two hours to the chateau (really it was 1 hour 15 minutes--everyone was dramatic about the length of time it would take--it wasn't going to deter me though). The look on Little S's teacher's face when I showed up was priceless! She stuttered "but how....what...." I didn't see the big deal about it. I didn't want him to miss his class field trip but it seemed to everyone to be so crazy. I'm still not sure why. I ended up staying the rest of the day with Charlotte and it was a fun family day. I had lots of little babysitters keeping an eye on Charlotte. She was delighted!

On Wednesday we all had to go to the American Consulate in Paris to renew Little S's expired passport. Children have to renew their passports every five years and I guess I should have thought of it on his birthday but I didn't. I hate leaving passport stuff to the last minute. There's also a new rule now that both parents need to be physically present to renew a child's passport so Seb had to come too. The American Consulate in Paris is so efficient that we were out of the building one hour after we checked in. Everyone is so nice and friendly. I hope they get the passport processed in the time they said because we leave in three weeks for the U.S!

I'll get around to uploading my pictures soon. My head is still in Asia and it's been tough readjusting to French life. At the same time my six euro bottle of bordeaux tasted pretty good this week. I guess I'm a little stuck in my gastronomic ways. I really missed French food by the end of the week.

(this is the chateau we visited but it's not my photo -- found here on flickr)

My excursion

We're back from our Shanghai trip. What? you say, we didn't even know you left! Okay it's not something I wanted to post on the blog sorry. But I'm back now.

We had a fabulous time and I love, love LOVE the city. It wasn't anything like what I expected. It was so incredibly cosmopolitan, modern, lively and surprisingly it feels like the center of where it's at today, especially with the World Expo coming in a few months. The skyline is like something out of Star Wars! AMAZING. I think I took a thousand pictures and that was just on my SLR camera. I just wanted to take huge bites out of the city and savor every second.

I'm going to prepare you to be bored with China stories for the next few weeks. I won't be able to help myself.

By the way Blogger is blocked in China so I couldn't check my blog or anyone elses for that matter. I didn't have much internet time anyway but it was kind of shocking to realize that my daily fix of reading was censored. I'm not sure why Blogger in particular is blocked because many other sites aren't like Flickr and Twitter, odd.