Blah, bleck, blah, blah

Groooooan. It´s looking more and more like we´ll be heading back home, so much for all the heavy praying I´ve been doing. We are just not meant to be here plain and simple. We have gradually accepted the fact that it will soon be time to pack up our things (again) and git. Accepting this has been a little like those people who stay with bad men and everyone keeps telling them LEAVE but they never do. They just keep hoping the person will change. I am in real denial. I keep hoping the situation changes. But today though I passed right on through the small appliance aisle at Walmart (I´m a small appliance addict) and didn´t even stop. Now that´s acceptance.

We are going to be moving to Paris and that´s pretty cool. I´ve never lived there before. We will be closer to the family which can be good and bad but maybe it will be good. We´ll get some us time because mil and fil will happily hop on the autoroute and babysit for entire weekends. That´s a good thing I guess (denial popping up again...) And um what else...cheese back in my life! I´ve missed you cheese! And not to mention dear, crusty baguette (not thinking about Mexican food, not thinking about Mexican food...not thinking) And what else? Oh the markets, I´ve really missed the weekly open air market in France! And my few friends. I´ve missed seeing them. My friend Huri is going to have her baby in May and I´m really excited about that. And my dear, good friends Jess and Dee who seemed a million miles away will now be back in my backyard. And my new friends from last year Lily and Gwyn who I´ve kept up with in e-mail can become part of my life again. I´ve missed my small intimate circle of buddies.

But then the bad stuff crops back up. I hate the rain in France. And I will miss the smiling faces I see everyday here. I so love the way Mexicans smile all the time and seem so genuinely happy to help you. And the food is something that I have fallen head over heels in love with. Where on earth will I get that fix in France! And okay maybe I´m being a petty consumerist but I may actually miss the Walmart Supercenter being right down the street from me and lets not even talk about how much I´m going to miss Costco and all the free samples. And the saddest part of all is that we won´t have time to visit Oaxaca, Xochimilco, San Miguel, Tepotzotlan, Malinalco, Mexico City, Matehuala and the list goes on. I am really bummed about that. Seb and I are taking a week off somewhere here to travel to the Yucatan to at least see some ruins. Oh and finally yes, I wanted to learn Spanish!! I have been studying so hard (and will continue to) but I will have no one to talk to and that really makes me sad. This whole move is just so sad.

This weekend we are going to go to France for three weeks and begin to investigate our new life a little. Seb has company business and I am going to explore whether or not we want to live in the city or on the outskirts...or better yet really on the outskirts. I´m not sure I´m good city material. I like me some backyard too much and honestly after leaving this jagillion square foot house we live in (sob) I think it will be nearly impossible to squeeze ourselves into a tiny Parisien apartment. We are truly and completely spoiled. Mexican houses are enormous. Even people from the States are jealous of our life here.

But accept we will I suppose. Miracles always happen in the eleventh hour in movies, right? I can just see it now...the wife is holding the baby, the husband walks in and hugs the toddler who is standing in front of a pile of boxes. He smiles and says "guess what honey, unpack your bags because we´re staying! They´ve tripled my salary!"

Only in the movies I guess...

My own computer now

I haven't blogged much for a few reasons the main one being that I haven't had a computer. The parents each have their own computer and both are wildly possessive of it. I can sort of understand because I think that computers are really personal objects now whereas before they were just the equivelent of household appliances. Anyway this all cut into my blogging time. The other reason I haven't blogged is because Little S is a full time job to keep entertained when we aren't in our own home. I'm exhausted from all the swimming pool business and video switching and shopping for Thomas the Train paraphenalia (note to self: in one year clear space in brain currently being occupied by the names of all the characters from Thomas series)

The good news is that we're in Mexico now and I have my computer back. Seb very sweetly transported it to Mexico for me three weeks ago. We're in the hotel and we have wireless for now, one of the few good perks about staying in the hotel for three weeks.

The other good news is that we found a house and all the papers are signed and we have keys. We have a one year lease and it's in a really nice community with pretty trees and open space for kids to play. It's in a gated community which is very American and not very authentic Mexican but it was clean and noise free which wasn't the case for many of the houses we looked at. I think Seb and I just want a few years of calm after renovating our house for over four years. The house is lovely and funnily enough it's built in the old Mexican style of a u shape yet it's very modern inside. We must have looked at 30 houses in all and I only looked at two things, the kitchen and the neighborhood. If the kitchen was a dump or too small it was an instant reject. If there was a busy street out front with noisy cars or no grass for kids to play I also said no. This house was perfect and the kitchen is wonderful (see photo). The one drawback is that it has a swimming pool. We absolutely did not want a house with a pool because of the danger with kids and because of the high electric bills, but we simply couldn't find anything we liked as much in our price range. I told Seb we could always drain the pool and build a temporary deck over top of it.

I can't wait until the furniture gets here from France so we can move in and set up house. There is the pressure of the baby coming in mid to early November so at the very least we have to get the clothes out of boxes and washed and ironed. Meanwhile we have to buy all of our electronics small and large and the list is long. It was way past time to replace most of our electronics in France and we didn't have a tv except for the video moniter Little S used for videos so we are excited to get some new stuff. Seb like most guys is psyched to get a flatscreen tv and I'm elated not to have a washing machine that leaks and has to be piped into the street when it empties.

We both feel homesick. I guess that's normal. I know when I go to Florida on vacation as I normally do each summer I am always eager to return back to France after about four to six weeks, suitcases loaded with comfort foods and new clothes of course. I love falling back in love with France all over again. This time I just feel empty and weird leaving Florida. "I am where again?" I seem to say to myself daily. And I guess most of that is because I haven't grasped much Spanish yet other than polite phrases and I'm back to where I was in the early days of living in France, --linguistically handcuffed. I also miss my friends!

Little S is doing well and speaking a lot more. He's still way behind other boys his age and he pronounces things all wonky like pillow for example he will call pee-yoe and James he pronounces Jee-mzeh. He still isn't potty trained and he acts much younger than most boys his age. I feel sorry for him. I know school will be tough for him but I can only hope that it will help him see how much he's missing by clinging to his baby years. I have been teased by my family and Seb as being a mother hen and it's been hinted at that I'm a huge reason behind his lack of progress. Maybe it's true. Like a lot of second time mothers I have a hard time seeing how I will find the affection for the sushi baby when all my love is already being used up on Little S. I don't want to divide myself in half. I don't think it's possible. I am an earth mother though so I know I'll be constantly holding and sleeping with the new baby and I know that Little S will be insanely jealous of this. He gets angry when it's not me who pours his juice in to a cup. I suppose everyone is right and it's me who has created this little monster by constantly indulging him.

Okay well, we're off to visit the new house and start cleaning. Apparently it was cleaned but it doesn't look it at all. I'm nesting after all so in my eyes it needs to be sanitized from head to toe before we can even begin to think of stocking it with baby things--as if!

Not the same move as nine years ago

Wow life has just kicked into high gear. I have never done an international move before and I had no idea how much work and stress it was. Well I actually have done the international move thing but with a few suitcases and a backpack not with a family and a house and cats. We are up to our ears in last minute bank details, packing lists, selling stuff, giving stuff away, cancelling contracts and making decisions about well, everything actually.

One of the the biggest pains has been trying to end our Orange Internet and SFR cell phone contracts. In France you have to cancel most contracts on the anniversary of your contract or else come up with an official reason why you are ending it early (all by registered letter of course). I'm on registered letter number three with SFR and they are now asking for an official stamp from Seb's boss and the ORIGINAL work contract for his transfer to Mexico. Uh, yeah I think we might need that original guys. Are they nuts? No they're French. As if that wasn't enough I am also getting the lost paperwork syndrome from the CAF for the new baby. This is the third time they've lost it. Third time's the charm right? At least that was the case with Little S's birth. The CAF and SECU are famous for "losing" paperwork so I should take this all as a squishy bureaucratic farewell from my paper-loving government. It doesn't help the stress factor.

My computer is officially sold and will be carted off this Saturday so I have to clear the hard drive and stock all my photos and writings on disk and on my spare hard drive. Anothe goodbye. Another last minute-time consuming thing to do before we leave. Where is my blog secretary when I need her anyway?

This will most likely be my last post until we get settled on our month long vacation in Florida with my parents. I'm really looking forward to relaxing with them. I've really missed my family. We have a lot of fun things planned like amusement parks and long gossipy lunches in little restaurants my mom and sister have discovered in the past few years. I've missed laughing with my mom and sister so much. I can't wait to see them.

We leave France on July 31st. It's going to be hard to say goodbye for such a long time. I've become more French than I care to admit. All that unpasteurized cheese has gone to my head. And my house! I love my house so much (in spite of all my complaints). I feel like I'm leaving behind a family member. But I know that this change is good for us and even the things like the house and our family and neighbors will be easier to accept as time goes by (the benefit of already having done this once gives me that wisdom thank you very much).

Wish us well. A whole new chapter is beginning soon.

Leaving the family behind

While we were in Paris we spent a lot of time driving back and forth to Normandy to be with the family for what will be the last time in quite a while. It was really emotional and there were lots of tears. I felt really sorry for mother-in-law whose eyes were constantly puffy and red and who kept leaving the room suddenly to run to the toilet and cry.

I know Seb also felt like this was the last time he'd see his grandfather who has been in poor health for a while. Grandpa is an oddball and Seb is the only one in the family who really gets along well with him and makes him smile and tell stories. Otherwise grandpa is a bit of a curmudgeon who doesn't say much. I was certain to take lots of pictures of Little S with grandma & grandpa (great grandma & grandpa for him) and Little S who loves old people adored playing around him.

Little S has lots of French cousins near his age and I feel guilty that we are taking him away from this heritage. He has really become close to them this last year and he finally remembers their names and has begun asking about them more and more. I feel like we're taking him to a barren wasteland void of relatives and contacts. I feel like we're ripping his little universe apart. I can't imagine doing this when he'd be 7 or 12 years old. It must be awful for parents who transplant their kids at that stage in their life or older.

I'm not sure if Seb's family understands our leaving. I know they think the worst will happen--we'll go bankrupt, eat terrible food and die from scorpion stings--or something along those lines. When we walked away on Monday I saw the panic on their faces "oh dear they're walking into a huge bear trap! If only they could see it! If only they'd reconsider!" and I think that was the basis for a lot of their tears.

When we talk about their visiting us in Mexico they get very concerened looks on their faces and shake they're heads. "it's too much money. We don't speak the language. We don't even speak any english. What if we get lost in the airport!!" They are scared.

I realize that they probably will come one day because they will have to. They will need to see us, Little S and the new baby. It makes me feel relieved that they will be forced to come and see us, forced to break out of their mold. I know that this will change them in a way they can't even imagine. They will see the world a new way. Even if it scares or repulses them they will be forced to look at life from a whole new viewpoint. In short our leaving is probably the best gift we can give to them. Even if we are tearing out their hearts right now they will come to understand that life beyond France is fresh and exciting and scary and wonderful. They will become world travellers whether they want to or not.

Goodbye Paris

Seb and I just spent four days in Paris doing a cultural training for our move to Mexico which is aimed to help us adjust to our life as Mexpats. I made fun of the training before we left. "What can they possibly teach me about being an expat?" I scoffed. "I've lived in a foreign country over seven years now. It's so old hat I could teach it myself!" It wasn't all old hat though and I learned a lot from our training instructor, a facinating woman who has been doing this for years and has met every type of expat family you could imagine.

We studied Mexico, France and the USA and looked at all three cultures from every imaginable angle: --social, economic, religious, and even psychological. Some of the funnest parts of the training were comparing the French next to the Americans and saying "yes, yes; yes!" to a lot of the things it's taken me years to figure out about the French.

I think we even gave the training instructor a few new insights into Franco-American relationships just by telling her some of our experiences as a couple. I shared some of our funny stories like how on our recent trip through the US to Mexico Seb and I had a fight because he verbally attacked the customer service woman at the Continental Airlines desk in Houston. She of course shut down, wouldn't help us and and she even closed the door on him! That screaming stuff works in France and it's actually expected and respected but in the US you just look like an idiot if you do it. You definitely have to try a sort or smooth yet firm aggression coated with a little honey to get what you want from an American. I had such a hard time explaining this subtle art to Seb at the time because he couldn't understand how it could possibly work. How do you get any respect if you don't scream and say "oh la laaaa" after every indignation after all! "After I tell her I won't be walked all over she'll earn my respect and give me my justice!" I think he finally understood all this in the class when the trainer explained the differences between how French and Americans think in these sorts of situations and what tactics they use to get what they want from people. She also explained that he'd have to learn this for his problem solving in Mexico because a Mexican would never dream of getting hot headed over a such a common thing like a delay or missing paperwork. There were lots of situational examples over the two days and we were even lucky enough to meet and train under a few Mexican business women, expats of course, who explained all the ins and outs of making our way through this new cultural maze we're about to enter.

We stayed in Paris's latin quarter even though our training was way out in the suburbs an hour from the city. I adore l'eglise Notre Dame de Paris and Seb knows this so he booked us a hotel right by the church.It rained a lot but that just made it all prettier. It gave us a good backdrop for our weekend;-- eating in picturesque sidewalk cafés and having animated discussions about how much our life is about to change.

The joy of packing

We spent the weekend buried in boxes, going through our life. It's amazing how much stuff we've kept all these years. It's amazing how much stuff we threw away! I think we filled the two dumpsters in back of our house until they overflowed. Seb wouldn't allow me to do the dumpster runs because he knows I'll change my mind and come back with stuff.

We mostly got rid of magazines and old paperwork. I think Seb has kept nearly all of his studies since he was in 6éme. And since he studied engineering for almost eight years he had about six boxes of notes and binders full of mathematical formulas (booooring!). I was glad to see some of that go. I can't say anything because I'd kept all my teaching materials over the years and that added up to about four big boxes. Neither of us were willing to completely empty all our boxes but I bet we threw away at least two boxes of papers each. I never really enjoyed teaching business english so I had no problem tossing a box load of that mess.

I'm not really sure what else we threw away but it was impressive and it felt good. We condensed the books into about 20 boxes which was a feat in itself. Half of the books will stay in a storage unit here and the other half will go with us. I had to sit there all day Saturday and muse over piles-- "do I take this or not?" while trying to be as ruthless as possible. It wasn't easy and I found myself leafing through lots of great books I'd completely forgotten about. I can't wait until we get unpacked so I can dig in and read them!

The next part of the packing process involves the clothes. I have to sort through all the baby clothes and get rid of a lot of things. Since we know that the baby is a girl I have to hold everything up, squint and say "hmm would a girl wear this?" Basically if it has a truck or fire engine on it it will get sent off to the pile. That probably includes ninety percent of the baby clothes.

The last thing I have to pack are the Cd's. This is tough because we recently acquired a 200 CD jukebox and I got the brilliant idea to store all the CD jewel cases downstairs. In my enthusiasm I didn't sort it all out very well. It's a giant mess. And guess who doesn't own a CD jukebox anymore? I have a very full afternoon ahead of me here real soon.

Gift giving made simple

The in-laws arrive tomorrow for one week and the house looks like a tornado slammed through the front door and left out the back. How I will get everything stashed and arranged in time I do not know. I have just way too many organizing projects going on right now. For example Seb found three boxes of beauty products in the basement before he left last week and hauled them upstairs for me to deal with. These were from the cleaning out of the vast beauty product armoire last month and then the elimination of bathroom two and its giant pharmacy cabinet behind the toilet. "Aren't you embarrassed about having all this stuff?" He was right. There was so much stuff it was embarrassing: creams, body scrubs, loofahs, mineral salts, oils... But you know good stuff. So I am going through it right now and dividing it into "keep," "throw away" and "give away." The whole projects covers my bathroom floor and with Little S's help is one giant mess. So yeah that's just one project.

It's Father's Day in France on Sunday and I think in the US too (I'll have to check on that). I was in Marrionnaud returning my products from Mother's Day so I got a brilliant idea to start Seb on a better skincare regime. Right now he just slathers drugstore lotion on his face from time to time and calls it a regime. Anyway they have a great sample coffret (slightly larger than sample size actually) from Clinique on promotion and I was really pleased with it. It lets you try a few of the products in the men's line. So you know, great! more beauty products for the bathroom!

I actually realized that the store I went into and complained about for my Mother's Day gift was the wrong Marrionnaud. The right one is a few doors down from that one (it makes no sense to have two Marrionnaud stores on the same street but that's the French for you) and they were brilliant. I got to take back everything and got some good advice. Skin care advice reminds me of breastfeeding advice. Everyone has their opinions and everyone has their different philosophy but in the end you just have to listen to your body and take what the experts say with a partial grain of salt. What they say is valid but in the end it's your body and you know better.

Requiring a monk's patience

I have started packing, carefully taping together boxes and stacking them, deciding to tackle first the videos and DVDs. Almost two years of being without a proper living room has left a series of boxes filled with multimedia, stashed in the basement and upstairs annex. The boxes have been routinely reopened then stashed again because we wanted to watch a particular film. We'd dig through the box with a flashlight, halfhazardly re-taping it shut the next day, or not. The whole thing is a giant disorganized mess.

The hardest thing with packing and organizing for a move like this is that half of our things will go to Mexico and half will stay here in France. I won't drag all the books or videos. I'll separate them and decide what we'd like to take leaving the lions share here in the rented storage facility the company has offered us. So you see the dividing is what makes the packing such a long process!

When my friend Bea asked me how the packing was going this week (because she'd done the same thing last year) I said "fine but almost impossible with with a toddler trying to help." It's like having a mischievous little elfin by your side. No sooner has a video been divided in to one box and arranged then it is removed and tossed aside or shoved under the bed or worse cried over because it needs to be inserted in the machine to watch (because videos go in the machine and not in a box, duh mommy!) So I feel like I go one step forward two steps back. I will never finish packing and I will end up with French Yoga tapes in Mexico that won't play on the machine while my Godfather series sits sweating it out in a Lyon storage warehouse.

I found this funny video on YouTube about a toddler caught on film destroying a delicate sand art mosaic created by monks. See, look at the havoc these little guys can wreak in an instant! The mom has her back turned for all of two seconds. These poor patient monks must understand the true meaning of patience now. You can see the monk interviewed is really frustrated but he doesn't want to say lose his cool: "so now we have three days only so we have to struggle more hard" Meanwhile we mothers have to "struggle more hard" every day. Welcome to our world guys. Mother's of toddlers have the patience of monks, genetically.

Here's the link if the video doesn't work:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8J_Ctk4-IoQ

Dream House crash and burn, sob

While things on the housefront here in the lake house seem to be rolling right along, things in Mexico are not so rosy. The casa situation is officially at a standstill.

We got a very flashy green light to go ahead and rent The Barbie Dream House in Mexico by The Firm in Paris right after I wrote that post, in fact they were happy that we'd found something in a good price range. But there is some squabbling about contract issues as Seb discovered when we visited Mexico of the "why does he get a window seat when I'm stuck on the aisle" variety and it all boils down to jealousy or whatever blah-blah-blah. So it seems that the Mexican branch of The Firm doesn't want to secure the house for us and in fact is telling us we can't rent it because it and the three identical versions of it next door to it are all miraculously rented already (and they know this because they communicate daily with the botox agent, so there!).

Oh and our back-up house? Rented too. Uh, okay right so what your saying is that we're screwed. We got it.

So they said they would give us a hotel list for when we get there and we get to live there and eat there while we start all over finding a home. And our stuff will sit melting on the docks in Marseille in August until we have a proper address. Can anyone say cha-ching for the amount of money all that will cost the company?

Ironically every time we ask questions about something there, you know important things like cars, hospitals and schools The Firm says "no problem." And almost every time so far there is a problem. We are quickly finding out the true meaning of this phrase. A Mexican "no problem" seems to mean there's a huge problem but "Hey we won't deal with it right now, okay. You'll figure it out yourself somehow eventually ."

I guess we are learning that we have to do a lot more ourselves if we want it done right; a very good first lesson in cultural awareness!

Adventures in casa hunting

One of the reason we went to Mexico was to start looking for a house to rent. We started house hunting on day two and spent a full day with a peppy, giggling, botox-induced agent looking at about 20 different houses to rent until we thought we'd drop over from exhaustion. We had very few stipulations, just one really: we wanted something completely finished. We didn't even want to hear that a pipe needed tightening or a door hinge squeaked or anything. We will be after all on renovation hiatus(!!) for three solid years...god that feels good to see that in print.

Surprisingly most of the houses we saw were modern as this seems to be the predominate style in big city Mexico, so you can forget all your notions of a lovely hacienda* with that gorgeous inner courtyard--Frida's house *sigh* I was a little disappointed about that and kept trying to get the agent to show us more traditional homes. This only caused her to show us houses with garbarge in the bathrooms, broken toilets and knee high grass. To her, or at least to Mexico, traditional seems to mean neglected. We ended all that very quickly and got back on track. "Okay, okay just show us the gringo, expat homes in the gated communities" and that was fine because that's what she wanted to show us anyway so everyone was finally happy.

I won't complain because from there on out we mostly saw dream homes. Homes with enormous picture windows, open living rooms and large open spaces everywhere you looked. Lack of character? I didn't complain once! It was like we were in the European version of the Beverly Hillbillies, "yee ha! pack up the truck hunny we're movin'!"

I guess what really shocked us the most was the low rent in Mexico. A particular house we looked at had five enormous bedrooms, a bath in each of the four bedrooms, marble floors, maids quarters and a two car garage and rented for just over a thousand dollars. It was a Barbie Dream House that in France would not exist but if it did would cost three times that price to rent and probably be situated on the Mediterranean. After living in 65 square meters for four years and showering outside we were in awe. "You mean we all get our OWN shower?" we said each time we saw a house.

We loved that outdoor living is so embraced in Mexico. All the homes had huge, glass back doors that opened to a nice courtyard or at the very least a 50 meter grassy patch, perfect for year round barbecues. There was always a brick privacy wall around the back which seemed to protect you from prying eyes or in our case escaping toddlers. We loved that.

We have asked if we'd be eligible to rent the Barbie Dream House and we should hear back from the company on that soon. Unfortunately the company decides nearly everything in expatland so sometimes I feel like Seb is working for The Firm. Meanwhile here's a sneak peek so you can see what we drooled over. Click on it for a better look because if you're nosy like me you'll want a better look.





We are more than pleased to go modern for a few years. I wouldn't want it for the rest of my life but I have to say I do like it. Everything is so clean. Everything is so perfect; built for today instead the 15th century (like our house). Seb, like most Frenchies grew up in old, skanky France so he is really into modern houses. He was in heaven but I wasn't so sure until I started seeing more homes. Now my only fear is that I will become spoiled. For example in the kitchen in that particular house there is room for a double wide refridgerater in the fridge nook! All of the houses we saw had this. How can I go back to 250 litres after that I ask you? What will it do to me? I am a ruined woman from here on out.

* If you have a house to rent in Mexico like the one in the top picture give us a call...by all means I beg of you!

Desert life

Seb and I arrived in Mexico tired and out of sorts. We'd spent two days either laid over in airports or in bumpy planes and then when we got there we were stung by the effects of being in an altitude three times higher than home. We were like zombies for the first few days and could only get things done in three hour spurt before being called to nap in our deluxe hotel. Needless to say we ate a lot of meals in the hotel restaurant by the swimming pool.



We didn't get to see very much in the few days that we were there but we saw enough to know that this will be an exciting, crazy, carefree three years that we are going to absolutely love. The weather was divine and the area is known for having the most perfect weather in the world. Lots of people told us this before arriving in SLP but when we got there we totally understood. "Did someone say jacket? No way who needs that! Oh wait yes I did order that lite morning breeze, ahhh how nice." We were so spoiled with the weather that we questioned how we'd be able to go back to France after three years and suffer the agony of bouncing temperatures, freak snowstorms and rainy months on end again.

The poverty shocked us. And the trash piled by roadsides made us feel privileged for even noticing it or caring about it. We imagined that the locals usually overlooked it and felt that it was just part of their daily life. We thought it spoiled the city somewhat and wondered whose job it was to clean up the city and why they weren't doing it. I guess living in Thonon and Evian we are spoiled to an extent. While we were gone they changed the flowers around the lavoir at the end of our street....again. This is the third time this Spring. It's an obsession on the part of the city but it certainly has us looking at the world through rosy glasses.

About 50 percent of the city and outlying areas look like this. The whole city is not this bad though. This is the other side of a housing complex that wasn't too bad. I wonder if mil will come and visit if she see this photo. Better not show her all of these!



Driving outside of San Luis we began to see beautiful desert landscapes and lo and behold our mountains. We love mountains and to us that's home so we felt secure all of the sudden. It was quite pretty and I look forward to seeing the sunset melting over the desert horizon several times over the years we spend there.

Taking off

On Monday we leave for our week in central Mexico to check out the place and see what life there might be like. We'll be meeting a few of Seb's new job connections, seeing a house that we may rent and then otherwise just taking advantage of some wonderful couple time, that is if I can stay awake long enough in the evening.

My in-laws are here tonight to take care of things in Thonon and look after Little S while we're gone. I am grateful to have them but their early arrival right before our leaving is a hefty load to bear. Cooking three meals a day while combatting all this sickness is not going to be easy. We've been severely abusing Picard this past month because I just can't find it in me to cook. The house right now is no picnic either and will have to be regulation army style cleaned before they cross the threshold lest I get the folded arms darty eyes from mother in law. This will be hard because the house is a nightmare right now. It's probably the worst it has ever, ever been: the noise level, the boxes of crap, the guy outside sawing stones who floods my kitchen with a nuclear cloud of dust each morning--scary stuff. I'll have to bring back a nice gift for mother-in-law. Hopefully I can find something she'll like.

In unrelated news, I just read in The Times that Kurt Vonnegut died. I immediately wanted to run to my bookshelf and start digging through my tattered paperback looking up quotes and reliving all those wonderful books. I can remember being completely blown away after reading Slaughterhouse Five. After that I went back and read all the others and found myself in the very fascinating Vonnegut phase of my life (because most of my life can be earmarked by the books I read).

He was truly one of the great novelists. One of those writers who makes you stop and feel and think. A goose bump writer. And what a fabulous career.

Ironically last night I saw the Season two episode of Grey's Anatomy where the novelist eats his manuscript and it forms a mass in his intestines and gives him mercury poisoning from the paper (sorry for the spoilers). I couldn't stop laughing. If you are a writer or live with writers you'll understand. Writers are wonderfully strange and funny creatures. I could just see my mom or some of my friends doing that.

Le weekend de Paques

We had a nice Easter weekend even if there was a lot to do. At least we had some time together. Seb took Friday off to work in the house and make some progress on our bedroom, the only room we aren't contracting out. He worked Saturday searching for building materials in Annemasse 45 minutes away, driving a rental truck back and forth and back and forth. On his last trip, the one where he was to turn in the rental car and recuperate our car he realized he'd forgotten his keys at home. He called me to see if I had any ideas of how he could get home but all I could say was take the the train. The problem was he had taken grumpy, tired Little S on the last run so I could catch some sleep and the trains from Annemasse were few and far between. We only have the one car now because we killed the engine in our Renault by hauling building materials (go figure!) and so I couldn't really go and rescue him. The other catch? He'd taken all the credit cards, cash and the checkbook. The next train on my end of town going to Annemasse was leaving in 15 minutes and I frantically dug through my purse for Swiss money which I prayed that SNCF would accept. I made it to the gare with two minutes to spare and was very proudly able to rescue my husband and son from having to spend four hours in the train station on a Saturday afternoon.

On Sunday I was very ill so we cancelled most of our planned day off and Seb just decided to work. I slept a lot off and on and felt well enough to go walking at five o'clock in the afternoon. Little S was ill too and we all looked a little ragtag walking by the lake trying to pretend we were having a great time with all the other tourists. We bought Little S ice cream and let him ride on a few of the manèges and we did somehow walk all the way to the swimming pool which is a pretty long walk. In the evening I tucked in early without eating and then it was Monday before we knew it, another day spent slaving in the house, trying to meet all of our crazy Summer deadlines.

I suppose there is solace in knowing that next Easter will be different. It's hard to believe that in one year we'll be settled in a completely different country, a whole other culture. I know that Easter is a huge religous holiday celebration in Mexico and that most companies close for the entire week beforehand. That probably means we'll be travelling because we've decided that any free time we have in Mexico will be spent exploring. Hopefully we'll be looking back at this last year and shaking our heads saying "wow, how did we survive all that?" as we stare off at a mayan temple or dig our toes a little deeper in the sand of a gorgeous, azure shoreline.

Way down there

The in-laws arrive in one week and I am beside myself. It's for a good cause but I am beside myself with trying to clean an entire house. You know like under the fridge cleaning--heavy duty stuff. Meanwhile I'm trying hard to survive the exhaustion factor and let me say that the two are not at all compatible.

There is a vacation of sorts in store for me and Seb, the first in almost a year. We'll be leaving for Mexico in ten days to check out our new homeland, look at schools for Little S and see what kind of house we can rent (although the actual renting won't happen until we get there and have had some time to really poke around). Hopefully we'll get to soak up some of the culture that we'll be enjoying for the next three years. I can't wait to see what the people are like and go check out the local markets. Seb and I are really looking forward to some much needed couple time too and I'm going to throw my mommy paranoia out the window for five days, try to have some fun and get excited about planning our future.

Oh, Mexico
It sounds so sweet with the sun sinking low
Moon`s so bright like to light up the night
Make everything all right

And here's an excellent cover of it if you're a fan ...

Una cerveza con lima por favor!

We go to Mexico in about three weeks for our go-see visit. I'm really excited because we'll finally get to see what's in store for us for the next three years. We'll also get to try out some of our language skills.

Spanish is coming along okay, not brilliant. It's been really hard getting back in to studying a language. When I learned French I spent many dedicated evenings sitting down with a grammar workbook the size of the Manhattan phonebook and doing every single exercise. I took a university course twice, one in Annecy for a few short weeks (I ran out of money and when it came time to pay they kicked me out!), and one program in Tours which was fun because my level was much more advanced by then and I was able to take art classes, culture and politics entirely in French. There were really no grammar classes. That program lasted three months and really boosted my confidence in writing and speaking. Now in learning Spanish what a luxury to have a one on one teacher! She's there for three hours a week just for us! We're so spoiled. The only problem is that either I've sprouted lazy genes since settling in to French life or being a mom has melted my brain. I have a hard time sitting down and studying on my own like I did in the past. In our Thursday classes I'm always the laxadaisical student who doesn't respond correctly. My homework is half finished and I rarely have the answer first. Seb is smart so he looks at something once and then he doesn't ever have to study it again. I have to physically POUR it into my brain daily, shake and stir often and then maybe I can pull out half of it when the time is right.

One thing I'm really brilliant at though is numbers in Spanish. Seb is puzzled because I'm able to spit out all this playground Spanish and he has no clue why. I'm good at restaurant Spanish too, from all that Stateside ordering eating and cooking. That's seems to be my only advantage though. I can order an enchilada and tell you six different ways to make it! Doesn't that count for something? I think I'll be helpful in the evening as we relax by the bar but I'm going to be struggling afternoons as we make our way through the streets of S*n Lu*s P*t*si, Mexico learning about our new home.

Why look ...I simply love ironing!

My mom was supposed to arrive in Geneva this morning so I decided to give her a quick bon-voyage phone call last night and double check on her flight times. It's a good thing I did. I discovered that she won't be arriving until Wednesday, two days from now. And she tried her damnedest to tell me it was Tuesday over and over. "Honey it says right here on my ticket TUESDAY! It's printed right here clear as day!" And I tried my damnedest to remind her that we're a day away over here meaning she'd arrive Wednesday morning even if she does leave on Tuesday, but after her realizing I was brainless enough to want to pick her up on Monday she had a hard time being convinced of my complex Time Zone theory.

So as you can see we are clearly a family of rocket scientists.

Now my week is all screwed up because all those people I told I couldn't do anything with on Monday because of mom's arriving were all scheduled for Wednesday and Thursday. My Wednesday and Thursday were jam packed. On top of that I had a doctor's appointment forcefully changed today from Friday to Thursday. It's an infertility doctor so it means an early morning visit and then lab tests and results getting phoned in after lunch sometime. All this meaning they'll keep me waiting by the phone until 5:45pm. And all meaning my entire day will be shot. Suddenly my well planned week is like someone planted land mines in the middle and end of it. Pow! And here I am stuck inside forced to replan it all like I'm a Geneva business woman instead of a sahm with the entire series of Prison Break on CD-RW discs just waiting to be watched (pleasant fodder for ironing women I gotta tell you).

The weather today was gorgeous again and we were outside all afternoon even though the house looks like a bunch of heroine addicts were living in it all weekend. There is laundry everywhere! It's clean laundry which needs IRONED and it was piled in a basket until a certain Frenchman decided to find a missing shirt and a certain toddler decided to help him. I was feeling the onslaught of a sore throat and headache last night so I just left it all. Today it's still there, lazy housewife that I am. It's a very good thing my mother in law lives eight hours away and can´t see my house.

Actually come to think of it she loves ironing. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. She always irons when she visits us.

Speaking of which we're supposed to visit Mexico in one month. It's probably a good idea since we'll be MOVING there in five months. We should have gone in November then December then it just kept getting put off and now we have to go soon before the check it out visit gets combined with a "oh yeah while you're out there you might as well just STAY." Anyway we are thinking of asking the in-laws to watch Little S for the week we're gone. Actually we already asked but they have asked that we bring Little S to them in Normandy and we can't do that. We don't really want to leave out of Paris. How grueling to add six hours on each way.

I'm ready to just take him with us to Mexico. It's so strange to me to just leave him and go to another continent and say "la-di-da I'm having such a good time!" while my boy is left behind following a little retired French routine of timed lunch schedules and brisk daily walks.

Or you know it might just have the opposite effect. Actually I may just surprise myself and have a simply smashing time drinking Mai-Tais and sticking exotic flowers behind my right ear while mother-in-law phones saying "WHEN ARE YOU COMING BACK! We've had all we can take of this...this BEAST!!" while I just dart my eyes and snap my fingers for the waiter to bring me another drink.

I think I'll be feeling the pull of the apron (heart) strings if I have to leave him. I'm not sure if I can do it. I know Seb and I need the break together but I think he needs us and so I'm finding it hard to agree to all of this. But then again there are those Mai-Tais to consider.

Bilingual toddlers are passé...trilingual tods rock!

My new scandinavian friend has turned out to be German. Okay so I'm not the best at detecting accents. She sounded like she was speaking with a danish accent on the phone. Anyway she's really interesting and her little boy is adorable! She and her husband work for an international organization in Geneva and they are constantly travelling all over the world on assignment. The whole family will move to Africa in six months. They have their home based here in Haute-Savoie though, in her words the "loveliest place on earth." I can't really argue with that. I ended up sharing our plans for Mexico with her and we both decided that this was a perfect arrangement for a friendship. Both of us are leaving at the same time. They'll be returning here in two years and we'll be back in three. Maybe we'll stay friends and meet up after our travels.

Her son is three and he speaks three languages! He speaks to his mother in German and he's very chatty in it. His dad is Colombian and he started speaking his first words in Spanish with his father. He also speaks and undertands English as I discovered when I asked him if he wanted some juice and he said "no...just water please!" His mother beamed and I just stood there thinking "damn little guy can I upload your language files!" It's impressive and put my mind at ease. Little S will easily pick up all three languages. We have no need to worry. He'll probably be translating for me in Mexico. "My mommy would like to know if you have this dress in vermilion please and she said you know nothing about fashion!"

I've been checking out Geneva nursery schools. I know, I know. How very supercilious of me. It's actually practical. While we slave over our Spanish lessons in a certain Geneva language school Little S can be in the nearby nursery school reading, dancing and slapping paper maché around with his absurdly wealthy toddler homies. And meanwhile we'll just see if we can't get Seb's company to pick up the tab for the time he spends there while we take language lessons. I bet they will.

Okay I'm off to make some flashcards. Flashcards are always good. Otherwise anyone got any other language learning tips they want to pass on? What do you think is the one big secret formula to learning. What works best for you? We only have six hours a month so I'll be working all alone through most of this.

An abundance of stuff

The thought of moving yet again is like a huge steel trap eating at my brain. Sure we'll have movers. Sure we'll have it all paid for. But it's us who has to deal with the sorting of it. We have amassed a hell of a lot of stuff in our three years in this house, like a 1930 Godin poêle that we love and want to put in the house one day (it weighs about 400 pounds) the heart of pine guest bed set I bought from Bea before she moved, and a barbecue grill made in Germany that will kick ass if only I can get around to ordering the the seal that connects the tube to the gas bottle. A lot of stuff you wouldn't necessarily want to move to Mexico but that you wouldn't want to sell just yet.

We spent the weekend going through the list of everything we own, which does not include the things in the cellar by the way, and we took care of a grand total of five things on the list. This is barely a scratch nay a ping in what we own! The house will be rented and perhaps we can garner a small storage room downstairs and keep the key to it because in our house we have a lot of storage rooms. But the last time I put anything down in those rooms, which happened to be clothes, they came out tie-dyed in mold. Seb just kind of snickered and said "guess you'll be forced to get rid of some clothes now, huh!" because it is a well known fact that I am a clothes horse. If the clothes looked like that I can only imagine the fate of books or electronics or appliances. Apparently the company will give us a small paid storage space for three years in France and then what is left is to go in the crate which will move us. The crate is pretty limited in size, considering it is predetermined for a TYPICAL French family of three. Ikes, we are not a typical family in that respect. We have become hoarders of junk (treasures!) since renovating our house. So yes we have to get rid of a large percentage of our things.

This weekend we took a fridge, a tv, another Godin (not the really pretty one) and a washing machine to the Troc where you can sell your things as long as you give them 38 percent of the profit. The prices they put on the stuff had our mouths gaping open. We will make 20 euros on a Thomson TV we bought four years ago. Umm, okay. The fridge, bought for the Lyon apartment is only six months old but we are forced to sell it for 200 euros. Unfortunately we have no choice. It all has to go in the next six months. France does not "do" garage sales. We do not really have the time to advertise and word of mouth will take too long.

In 1998 I did this very same thing. I sold the majority of my possessions. Even though today I sometimes cringe when I think about it, a 1920's armoire for 80 dollars, it was actually a good feeling not to be burdened with things. I liked the new me, light and portable and ready to go from the USA to France with just two suitcases and backpack. It felt like I was cleansed of all of the stuff that weighed me down. I have to admit that I like the idea that as a couple we will experience that same feeling. It's just the getting there that's hard. I remember that last time and I am experiencing it today. But today I have a lot more stuff than I did nearly 10 years ago so it's even harder. Besides this there is Little S and toddlers come with a lot of accessories!

Snail's pace

We're back after nearly a full week in Lyon. We actually had a really nice time and it was good to be out in the busy bustle of the city and of course nice to see Seb every single night. It's pretty obvious he isn't used to having us around. By last night he was a little grouchy and sort of sitting there guarding the remote control and staring blankly at The Game. He's developed some bad habits like eating in bed and ignoring the wife. Living alone has brought out his bachelor genes.

Tomorrow Seb sees Miss Head Honcho in Paris about the details of his new position in Mexico. This is such a relief. We will finally have details about language lessons, housing arrangements, cars and finances and he'll finally get to know what job he'll be doing. It seems things are finally moving forward a little.

Tap tap tap

It's not like being bored. I don't want to imply that. It's really the exact opposite.

You see there isn't much going on here but then again there is. There is a whole pile of important things at my feet but nothing is moving and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it. I'm beginning to get the same feeling I've had on many a stalled out SNCF train.* We're stuck in Po-tunk-Ville and the conducter has no idea when, where, or how we'll get there and damned if he won't even take a guess for my benefit. Life moves pretty slow sometimes but this is horrible. I can't even see out the window past the big headed lady in the seat in front of me.

We're still waiting for Seb's contract for Mexico and it's just taking forever. It comes from the main branch of the company in Paris and apparently they're swamped right now and his contract is low on their list. It will take at least a month to iron out the details and then and only then can we start discussing practical matters like learning Spanish, visiting Mexico, renting our house, packing our things and selling all of our electrical appliance and our cars. I can't believe they aren't considerate enough to think that this international move thing might take a little time and planning. This all has me completely freaked out.

Meanwhile Seb who was to move back home and quit his big city job is now stuck in Lyon. We're happy about the Mexico proposal but it leaves us living between the two cities for a lot longer than we ever imagined. We're still living apart during the week and it looks like we will be for at least another 8 months. We officially gave up the luxurious little apartment in Villeurbanne and we haven't found a solution for a new place for Seb to live yet. He's actually going to be living in a hotel for a few months. I'm not sure I like that but as he says it's just easier.

We're also waiting on the work in our house to be done. Our worker is very good and pretty fast but the showering outside this year is unbearable knowing that we have a potential full bathroom upstairs that we might not really get to use so much. This is just maddening. I'm so eager to use that bathroom for at least a few months. I hope he gets it done by January. It looks like it might not be done until February.

There are a few other very important things we're waiting for but time is just standing still right now or worse still, going backwards. Seb and I both feel like shouting in frustration and we know we should just enjoy the moment meaning Little S and our time here in France but it really is like waiting in line at La Poste or you know sitting on that TRAIN.

Lord almighty I feel my temperature rising. Can we just get things going here? Is there someone I can call?

*It seems I am always getting stuck on SNCF trains for hours on end. Once my mom and I were behind a train that stalled out for over four and a half hours. The train in front of us had killed a young boy who was playing chicken on the tracks with a friend. It was really sad and when we finally did get going we buried our head in a magazine until we'd driven past the spot. It was just too awful to imagine. Another time I left the station in Lyon for Thonon, two hours away and I didn't get home until 4:00am. We passengers had to sit in the dark for two of those hours to conserve the battery. No one ever told us what was going on just that there was a problem with the reseau . Nice folks those SNCF people.