Back to what we know

Life has certainly changed in the past six months. I'm not exactly where I imagined I'd be. I thought I'd be sipping Chinese tea in my modest 15th story apartment complex in Shanghai, taking art classes with expats, homeschooling my kids. Life though decided to have me rethink everything from top to bottom. I guess you could say that I am not even the same person I was six months ago (which in retrospect isn't necessarily a bad thing).

My biggest changes are in my professional life and in my diet. I work now which probably explains the lack of blog posts. I'm back in the working world and it feels good. And I have a new way of eating which just sort of evolved over the Spring and Summer. I'm gluten-free and dairy free and I'm eating about 75 percent raw. My diet is sort of my new hobby.

My kids are thriving in regular old public school and we live in France again. That's about it. I'll share some photos soon.

Tequila!

Our sofa and chair are now outside in the storage room--we could only fit the loveseat--luckily everything was really well wrapped

We are still buried in boxes. It's going to be like that for a few weeks here. I'm still in awe that we have all this stuff.

The Mexican movers were totally amazing. All the expats talked about how efficient the Mexican moving companies were but we were skeptical because we've had such bad experiences with movers. The move from France to Mexico last year was a joke. These guys though, wow! It's almost too efficient. They wrapped everything. They wrapped a box of Q-tips for goodness sake. I mean that's a lot to unwrap. It's fun though and at times it's kind of like Christmas. They stashed our three bottles of real Mexican tequila in with the baby clothes. You aren't allowed to transport liquor or food and they hid it for us. Great movers! Yes!...oh and party at my house folks, after we get settled of course.

There is a slight problem though. Seb can't find his remote control for his MEGA-HUGE tv and he's really sad about it. The tv works in France which is good news (well sort of) but he's going mad opening all the boxes to see where it could be. I think it was in the bottom of the crate that they shipped the tv in which is now in the dump. I think this is the only bad thing the Mexican movers did, well that and mixing up all the baby clothes 0-24 months (agh!!)but otherwise we're feeling pretty good about everything.

Amen. I'm so glad this whole move is finally over with!

House hunting

With all the chaos of running back and forth between France, Mexico and Eastern Europe Seb hasn't had much time to do what he promised me he'd do which is look for a place to live. It is my job to search the internet each night and send him my prospects so that he can call about the things I find the next day and then make appointments, reporting dutifully back to me about what he saw or what information he uncovered over the telephone with the rental agent (usually that the house is being rented furnished or something weird like that). This scenario of me being the searcher was working quite well until we discovered that my parents have internet issues and we were stuck for at least half the time because I couldn't do my searches. I should say I was the one stuck because I couldn't send him my prospects and that gave him free reign to look at his own prospects. I have no problem with Seb looking as far as taste is concerned because we have the same exact tastes in houses, well mine being slightly less modern, but I knew he'd be busy looking on his own each evening not for something to rent but for something to buy. Seb is forever wanting to buy another old house and fix it up. I know this about him, it's an affliction, and I should have been worried because he did just what I thought he would. He called about a lot of houses in the last week but all of them are houses or apartments that are for sale not for rent. And he visited two or three of them just out of curiosity.

Of course they are all homes in need of renovation. Of course they all have plumbing issues. Of course we are in love with all of them.

Oh dear, where is this going to lead?

In the caddy

I have a lot of grocery cart pictures of the baby. I´m not sure why but she always looks cute in the cart. This one is funny. She´s guarding the tequila like a good little Mexican girl!

We are in the middle of packing right now and it´s a bit crazy here. On Thursday things should be better. By the weekend hopefully even better!

Hasta luego!

My faithful friend

On Tuesday I had brunch with my American friend Haley. I met Haley the first few weeks we settled in to our house here in Mexico and since she lives close by and has a girl close to Little S´s age we often get together for play dates. We have very similar parenting styles and we both have a sort of laid back hippy-chic style and attitude so we seem to click really well. My only initial hesitation with Haley was her giddy enthusiasm for religion and the bible, something I´m admittedly uncomfortable with. I enjoy religion from a scholarly perspective--in fact I minored in religious studies and my shelf worn bible is completely written in, highlighted and cross referenced with Jospeh Campbell notes in the margins and other comparitive religion philosopher´s ideas scribbled throughout the text. But since Haley´s bible reading is more faith driven and mine is more philosophically driven I feel uncomfortable when she says things like "God will find a way" or "I just prayed it would work and it did." I do have a spiritual side which I think is growing deeper as I get older, but I am reluctant to attach it to any one religion for fear I guess that it will box me in and limit me. In fact I think the reason I find the idea of attending church very difficult is that religion raises so many questions for me. I really prefer to discuss it rather than sit patiently still while someone gives their viewpoint week after week and I simply bide my time listening.

One thing I do appreciate about church is the social aspect. I´m a little jealous of Haley´s vast community of women, even if I doubt I´d get along with all of them. But it is impressive. Like me she´s only been here a short time and yet she's found babysitters, household help, friendship clubs and language lessons all through her ties to the local church. Her church has dropped in her lap the community that so many expats take months and months to uncover. Whenever I´ve asked her where she´s found something she always starts off by saying "a woman from my church..." and I am always impressed with how helpful everyone is around her.

Over the past few months I have grown fond of Haley and so when she told me they´d be leaving Mexico at the end of this month, I felt a sense of relief that I wouldn´t necessarily be the one leaving first. I hate goodbyes. She is in her third trimester of pregnancy and her husband and her would be having the baby at home in the US rather than here, something I knew she´d appreciate much more because I have been there. In true Haley fashion though she had been saying all along "the baby will be born where he is supposed to be born" and she hasn´t even thought twice about the whether she´d be giving birth here in Mexico or off in the US, a far cry from me who had worried about it every day of my second and third trimester, whining and lamenting my lot in life for having been shipped off to a country I knew little about. I have been admiring this "God will find a way" quality in her for several months but on this point in particular I have been in awe of her.

The evening after our Tuesday brunch this week Haley went in to labor at 33 weeks and gave birth to a baby boy. She hadn´t shown signs of prelabor and seemed healthy and vibrant at our brunch, even suggesing we walk a few blocks away to a nearby pottery store. The baby is healthy but being monitered in the hospital and Haley is fine, happy and ever positive in the wake of it all. The birth will certainly delay their leaving plans for several more weeks as they struggle through the complications of a preterm baby and the nightmare of paperwork needed for Americans declaring births in Mexico, and yet she is her same happy-go-lucky self--content with the fact that the baby is here and healthy and here when God wanted him to be here. Her attitude is that they were meant to stay longer for some unclear reason and God will find a way to make the rest of it work.

I wish I could adopt this carefree attitude, be stronger in the face of problems, take more of life with a grain of salt--especially lately. I often wonder if it is my detachment from organized religion that makes my life seem so much more complicated than others. Knowing someone like Haley makes me think that maybe if I could learn to let things go and have the faith that "something" will take care of things, be it God or whatever I want to label it, I will release the binding that keeps me so choked up with fear and worry whenever I can´t see around a corner in my life. I am really envious of people like Haley who have the ability to do this and really intrigued by the power of faith when I meet someone like her.

* I love religious artifacts from Mexico, so detailed, intricate and facinating. This cross sits on my bookshelf near my buddha.

Quotes and estimates oh my

I´m slightly relieved. The latest moving company has come and we found them to be much more down to earth and honest. They said the value of our things was much, much less than what the other moving company quoted, nearly half. The only thing we can figure is that they must have been counting in the cars because we toyed with the idea of bringing them back to France at first. We quickly change heart when we read what would be needed to transfer the papers and deck out the cars to EU standards. I think mover guy A also counted the kitchen appliances which aren´t ours but maybe he didn´t realize that since Seb gave him the tour and was gabbing in French about politics and life (the guy was a French expat).

It´s not us who gets to decide who moves our things though because we don´t pay for it, The Company does. Moving company A has merged with the moving company that originally brought us here so I kind of hope it isn´t them for obvious reasons. Picture King Kong moving teeny-tiny, people-sized households and that´s what we ended up with. I don´t think our stuff will survive another move like that!

Home is nice

We're buried in partially unpacked suitcases. Home is such wonderful place.

I was pleased as we pulled up in the dark --our tree and plants although leafless and suffering, were not completely dead. Everything just wanted some tlc and it was clear that the plants were sad. It will take a few days to rescue them. I don´t know why but I feel the need to maintain everything up until we leave. It feels like home when the yard is clean and I think we need to feel like this is home right up until the end. I'm going to leave believing that the proprieter will maintain them after we've gone.

The kids did really, really well on the flights home. I know it is´'t easy on them so I was really proud. The ten hours from Paris to Mexico went well and was pretty much stress free and I only had three drinks spilled on me. My latest flying with kids tip is to dress them head to toe in polar fleece because it repels water. I´m not joking. Oh and let them drink out of bottles-sippy cups if they are anywhere under age ten. We changed Little S's clothes twice. Little Charlotte slept at least seven of the ten hours in her airline-bassinette. Those things are great. When she wasn´t sleeping she was feeding. I think she ate her weight in breastmilk.

We spent Easter Sunday relaxing and grilling outside. Little S had a lot of chocolate from France and then a surprise, a bunch of presents from his Aunt Jane. My sister always spoils him and sends present boxes for his birthday and Christmas and then sometimes "just because" Since we´ve been in Mexico she hasn't been able to mail anything because the postal system in Mexico is virtually non-existant. So when Seb returned from the cat delivery* he brought back a load of gifts she'd been stocking away for him. The gifts were Thomas the Train themed and all of it was in wood. It's all gorgeous and he feels very, very spoiled even if we're a little overwhelmed with the abundance of it and what to do with all of it. Seb and I both grew up with very few toys so we can't believe how much our kids have. In my entire childhood I did have the amount of toys Little S has at age three.

*we had to get our cat to Florida somehow before we left for three weeks so Seb flew her to my parents two days before we left for France--expensive kitty sitting! she´s staying with them until we leave Mexico for good.

The pause

The week is passing nicely here in Nomandie at mil's house. We are so pleased to not be in the hotel that who cares if there's nothing going on and it doesn't have the buzz and adventure of Paris. We find it hard to forget that gouter* is at quatre-heure with the ticking clock pendulating gently in the background and then marking off the hour at regular intervals. In Paris we were always out, caught in the rain at gouter, stuck in line at a store, forgetting. Life moves fast in the city. Maybe this is a good reminder that we will enjoy a slow, provincial life much better.

I have been looking on line for cars all day. The stark reality is that we cannot keep our new car and we will definitely have to downsize when we get to France. It's funny but that we had such a brief romance with our new car, like a whirlwind adventure that could never last. I will drive my old Corsa for a few more months and find a good place to trade her in when we get settled. I am going to find a car I can afford to keep gas in__big priority.

I haven't heard much from Seb's family this week and I've been kind of surprised about that. Most of the relatives live close by but I think they're shy about dropping in or calling. It's a bit odd and I have to wonder if they understand us very much at all. We must seem very odd to them. Seb's aunt was nervous and fidgeting the last visit we paid her and she remarked as though thinking aloud, "I certainly hope you stay in Paris longer than six months!" We reminded her that it isn't our choice to leave Mexico, or any other place we've lived but that jobs these day are not so easy and it's the company who often decides where you'll land and where you'll end up. I think she had a hard time understanding that but this generation, the one before us does have issues with our moving about, especially mil and fil. I wish we could throw them forward into our reality.

We have talked about getting off the merry-go-round in the future. It means living with what falls our way where we are, especially for Seb because his job relies so much on travel and relocation. It would mean a sacrifice in our income level but maybe it would all be worthwhile. I often think people are happiest when they are simply together. That said there is he reality of paying off our house and the loans we have for all the renovations. It would be very nice if we had inherited a piece of property and didn't have rent or mortgages to pay. But then all the sacrifices make us appreciate our home that much more, right?

I'm musing because I'm tired of all of this shuffling about. I'm ready for a nice long gouter.


*gouter is the French pause so appreciated by kids at four o'clock in the afternoon--it's often when one meets up with other mothers and their kids for play dates "vouz pouver venir demain pour le gouter?" People at work in France often take a coffee break at 4 heure and nibble on a snack just like they did when they were small.