Let's get Mikey!

If you're pregnant and this is your first baby I want you do something. Take a piece of paper and write the word "CEREAL" in big, bold letters at the top of the paper. Got that? Okay, now, wait until you have the baby, or perhaps even before you have the little tyke, and mark an X on the page every time someone says the word CEREAL to you. Let me tell you that you'll have a page full of X's at the end of six months. You may even need to use the second side of the paper.

Cereal is the choice drug of the babycare set. Like with any drug, peer pressure abounds. Friends, family and strangers in the supermarket line are going to push you to try cereal. If you just replace the word 'cereal' with the word 'heroin' you'll see what I mean. "C'mon man...try some cereal...jess a little man. She's gonna love cereal and so are you. Cereal is so gooooooood man. Did you try that cereal I told you about? wink? wink"

In their heroin/cereal pitch they'll invariably use the magic word that will prick up your ears: sleep. Golden, magical, mythical, fabulous sleep. They know you want to hear that word. They know that word makes you listen. "Hey man...you put a little 'cereal' in that baby and he is out man. Never, never land for both of you. Twelve golden hours!" You hear the words 'twelve golden hours' which to you sounds as good as 'Caribbean vacation' or 'spa treatment' and you're all ears. You falter. You put cereal in their bottle at 3 months. Some even falter earlier. Some are so desperate they try in the first few weeks. And guess what? The baby still cries. They don't get any sleep. They have a box of cereal, another routine to follow, and everything is the same.

I'm very happy that I was able to resist. It was hard! When so many people are repeating their mantra you have a hard time drowning it out ... picturing the shower scene here in "Carrie" where the locker room girls are throwing tampons at her and chanting.... You can try humming loudly but they'll just wait until you're vulnerable complaining after a few nights of very bad sleep ... now picturing The Exorcist where little Regan is on the levitating bed, all yellow-eyed and spewing obscenities at the priest... ew, bad night...

They will not stop.

All I can say is resist the temptation. Your baby will not sleep through the night with cereal. He may coincidentally sleep through the night with cereal, and then you'll perhaps become a cereal 'dealer' yourself, but chances are he'll be wide awake at the same hours with or without it. Your baby will not starve without cereal. Your baby will most certainly be fine until 6 months old. After 6 months you can evaluate the effects of cereal if you feel he needs it. Before trying cereal read into the controversy a little. Check some of the informational articles on Kellymom.com and then decide how you feel.

Whatever you do don't retaliate against a cereal dealer with reasons why you think cereal might be useless or bad for babies. They will only increase the pressure, calling you at 6am with articles from Parent magazine that state cereal's importance as the MOST IMPORTANT, BENEFICIAL thing you can do for your child's future. They'll tell you how you can resist if you like but this is considered CHILD ABUSE and you may be anonymously reported to social services. It's futile. Don't resist. Just smile demurely and say, "Yes, thank you so much . We're looking into that you know," and leave it at that.

Practice that phrase now in fact. You'll be using it a lot.