Just as we are in the dregs of preparing the house for the baptism "world summit meeting" luncheon, rapidly hanging drywall and fanning paint dry, Baby S has decided he doesn't want to sleep. He would much rather squirm and protest all night, whining and "ya-ya-ya-ing" himself to a lull at around 4:30am. Who can you blame but his parents?
We cosleep with Baby S and if you read what my philosophy is on AP(attachment parenting) you'll see that my definition differs slightly from the reality. It's basically a very good parenting ideal, obviously marketed by those with perfectly, well-behaved infants. The reality is that if your baby is even slightly high needs, yes it's good for him but his parents will suffer immensely, getting little sleep and lugging about a 20 pounds of very soft baby meat all day long. We do this. We sleep very little because he squirms in bed all night. We carry him all day long. We make our own baby food. We wash load after load of cloth diapers and line dry them. We kiss instead of correct. We snuggle. We have no schedule.
It really is frightening to be a part of a movement you feel wrangled into, but it's you who have wrangled yourself into it. And the worst part is that we didn't even know there was a label for this strange brand of parenting we practice. Seb's parents just call it 'crazed,' mine shrug and call it 'hippie parenting' expecting little else from me, and our pediatrician who is a very mainstream French middle of the road baby doctor just smiles condescendingly at us with a wrinkled brow.
We have finally broken down and bought Baby S a bed of his own. It sits in the corner, matressless. We can't seem to decide on the brand we like. We'd like crib bumpers and blankets but there is a sale in in the catalogue companies and we'd like to see if another company will have their sales too. Meanwhile I feel like we're stalling for time. Either that or Baby S is hypnotizing us at night while we sleep "don't ...buy.... it... don't .... buy..."
So, after the baptism is over we're going to transfer the little flea to his own "lit." A stone's throw away from our own bed, I'm sure it won't be terribly tramatic for him. I will certainly be the one lying there alert with one eye focused on the corner of his bed half the night. I won't sleep much, head and heart spinning with the newness of it all. I will be the one with overflowing breasts and empty arms.
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5 comments:
Hang in there, Chris! I think you can strike a balance between AP and something that nurtures the parents, too. And yes, the transtion will probably be harder for you than for Sean.
Good job, Chris!
It will take some time to make your baby used to sleep in his own bed. Not so easy, believe me. I had this problem with my Big Boy, I have the same with my Little one. I WOULD LOVE to have him sleeping in his own bed (especially that it's right beside ours)but since he feels I go sleep he wakes up and there's no way to put him back to his bed. So instead of sleeping with my husband (there's no place for three in our bed) I sleep with my baby.
Good luck, it's not such a big transition after all. Besides I think we should give our kids some freedom,this will be a good beginning!
Hi - it's marie -
Great post & I'm all for AP. but hey, I got a sleeper :)Autumn has an empty bed too, well, it is a nice clothes hamper for now :)
Have a great Holiday weekend!!
-marie
There are so many decisions to make with babies. Sounds like you are doing what feels right and I'm sure it will work out. Hope you get some sleep after the baptism. I always believed that happier mommies were better mommies.
Harvey sent me to your diary (by leaving me a message at mine) because we seem to be in the same boat with little persons and sleep! My little boy is nearly 7 months old and we co-sleep too, but sleep has been a nightmare from about 2 months onwards. My husband sleeps on the floor! On occasion, Arthur has had the entire kingsize bed to himself (spreadeagled) whilst I retire to the spare room to get some decent sleep and the husband remains unconscious on the floor. We bought a cot-bed two weeks ago, and it's sitting there at the end of our bed while I give it evil looks and refuse to put my child it in. I just wanted to sympathise and let you know that there's someone else (in England!) who is going through the same. And I have added your diary to my bookmarks - I'll be back! My parents moved to France 3 years ago, and love it :)
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