Chic mom

At Cassandra house baby S plays with his new friend baby R

Yesterday baby S and I spent an afternoon chatting and hanging out with my chic new "mommy" friend Cassandra. She's the first friend I've met through being a mother and may have never otherwise become friends with, thus a "mommy" friend. We met for the first time at a neighbor's house for an afteroon drink thing, both of us more than eight months pregnant. She was dressed all in black, a very tasteful knit tank top, stretchy lycra printed skirt and some dainty leather cross strap sandals. Her little melon bump was the only giveaway that she was pregnant. From the back she didn't look pregnant at all. I was dressed in pregnancy overalls, my arms bulging out of my lycra t shirt and I had on my most comfortable shoes, TEVA sandals. I was humungous. One of the men at the table chuckled "Hey, it's hard to believe you both are due at the same time...isn't that funny the difference in...!" His comment was stifled by his 'very used to a moron husband whose brain cannot keep up with his mouth' wife. But the message was clear. One of you is a TANK and one of you is a DAINTY FAIRY CHICK. I left the party feeling fat but sure of one thing, Cassandra was really nice. She talked to me the entire time we were there and she seemed intelligent.

Our babies we're born one week apart and new motherhood got in the way of the first six months. I'd see her in town once or twice, caught her coming out of a very trendy, overpriced store with bags in hand. I thought of saying hello but was intimidated by my scrappy post pregnancy body. Then one day in April Cassandra dropped by our house with her little family to say hello. The unfortunate thing was that we had just torn out our kitchen ceiling and w.c. and we were in the middle of a huge cleanup, dust and debris everywhere. It didn't look good. VERY FAT GRUNGY TANK WOMAN LIVES IN HORRID HOUSE. She still seemed interested in getting my telephone number but I thought "she'll never call." Even Seb said in a 'don't get your hopes up honey' tone, "do you really think she'll call?"

She called one week later. We were to get together at her house on Thursday for a tea thing. Wow, I thought. This will be a good chance to finally get to know each other. I couldn't wait to see her house either. Our realtor had told us two years ago us that it was one of the nicest houses in the quarter--very modern. When I walked in the door I was shocked. It was wall to wall women. Oh dear! A weekly mommy meeting. I took my usual spot in the corner. I'm such a wallflower in large groups. I really hate that kind of thing. I ended up looking like a complete dork and baby S of course wanted to breastfeed the entire time. WALLFLOWER/EARTH MOTHER /TANK WOMAN FROM HORRID HOUSE. I left and we promised to meet up at some point in the future.

Our next meeting was a stroll by the lake with our babies and her father who was visiting in May. He was delightful, just as charming as Cassandra. Cassandra who was dressed head to toe in her usual designer chic dress and matching jewelry looked the part of an heiress spending the summer on a yacht in the Mediterranean. I really enjoyed our little jaunt about the marina. Afterwards we sat in a local café where he bought us all Diet Cokes, and I got perhaps a little too excited when I saw Cassandra pluck up her lemon and eat it before finishing her coke. "I do that too!" I said..., "except after I'm finished with my coke." Lord save me from my geekiness... She smiled at me and we sat relaxed, chatting with her father until I noticed her looking at my leg every so often. It wasn't an obvious stare but I felt her looking. I looked down and lo and behold I had forgotten to shave a whole SECTION of my left leg! I quickly crossed my leg and leaned forward. Holy crap! WALLFLOWER/MEGA EARTH MOTHER IS TOO LAZY OR BLIND OR SLOVEN TO SHAVE PROPERLY. We left each other saying goodbye for the summer and she even called me one last time to wish me a nice trip home. What was with this woman. She was too damn nice.

The next meeting was at my house just two weeks ago. I have developed a sort of love me or leave me armour when it comes to our house. In the beginning I was embarrassed about the fact that we have such a crazy layout. The outdoor shower would make me blush explaining, "we really need to fix that soon" and our temporary walls were always explained in detail, "now that's just temporary you see and we're going to eventually ... " Nowadays it's just, "hey this is our house and it's a work in progress." Ironically everyone is very cool with that and so was Cassandra. She unzipped her kitten heel, patent leather designer boots and plopped right down on our one of little ottomon chairs as if she were in an Tuscan villa filled with rare art and frescos instead of staring at half finished drywall. I was charmed as I still am. Baffled and charmed.

Now I see Cassandra almost once a week. Yesterday I went to her house. It was more casual than the times we've met up before. We talked about our families and how we fell in love for the first time. I really left feeling like I'd seen a good friend. You know that "comfortable shirt" feeling you get when you're with someone who you enjoy being with. That didn't keep me from raiding my closet before I dropped by her house for the visit. I just don't feel comfortable in just any old sweater while sitting across someone who wears Prada so casually.