Les Soldes!

Today is that magical day. The day all shoppers in France look forward to with bated breath. The day when you have to get up at the crack of dawn and prepare yourself for the battleground which is Les Soldes. Big sales only happen twice a year in France and it's all supposedly strictly controlled by the government and can't start one second before midnight on the official first day of the sales. Some stores like Carrefour and Auchan have actually had the beginning of their sales at midnight. All this fanfare designed to spin the head of any self-professed shopaholic, particularly those in rehab trying to reform their ways.

It's actually kind of fun when the sales start. Even in a relatively small town like mine the buzz is exciting. People dart around in a frenzy, hands clutched tightly to several sacks, weary children tearing into yet another pain au chocolat in order to keep them occupied, mothers tearing frantically through racks of last season's dresses. It's always a spectacle.

I am by no means one of these women who adores the sales. I find them tiresome. I hate waiting in line and frankly battling over the last whatever of whatever makes me feel a bit nervous. "Go on you take it (wench) because you obviously want that paisley hat and scarf set a lot more than I do" I also find the sales clerks overtired and ruder than normal. No thank you. I may go out a few days before the sales (bargains can still be had!) or a week or so after, but the first day is suicidal with a child in tow.

I do have a formula though. The secret of the French sales, or at least my secret. Buy a special something or other in the sales that you've considered carefully beforehand. For me this year it was a pair of jeans. Last year I bought a winter coat. Buy this luxury item right away, the first day if you're brave or the first week at least. Then wait until the very end of the sales when everything is 75 percent off ie. practically free! and go out an afternoon to do some serious bargain hunting. Even though the majority of the best stuff will be gone, you'll surely stumble across a huge bargain somewhere with a price attached to it that will leave you wondering how much the store originally paid for it, and leave you with a permanent distate for the store in question and their normal markup.

Okay so I lied. I did go out the first day of the sales and I did get nervous and excited. I did see a woman eyeing my jeans and yes I wedged my way in front of her and nabbed them right out from under her.

But I'm not really that type of person at all. I'm usually very, very nice. It must be the plastic coursing through my veins.