Leaving the family behind

While we were in Paris we spent a lot of time driving back and forth to Normandy to be with the family for what will be the last time in quite a while. It was really emotional and there were lots of tears. I felt really sorry for mother-in-law whose eyes were constantly puffy and red and who kept leaving the room suddenly to run to the toilet and cry.

I know Seb also felt like this was the last time he'd see his grandfather who has been in poor health for a while. Grandpa is an oddball and Seb is the only one in the family who really gets along well with him and makes him smile and tell stories. Otherwise grandpa is a bit of a curmudgeon who doesn't say much. I was certain to take lots of pictures of Little S with grandma & grandpa (great grandma & grandpa for him) and Little S who loves old people adored playing around him.

Little S has lots of French cousins near his age and I feel guilty that we are taking him away from this heritage. He has really become close to them this last year and he finally remembers their names and has begun asking about them more and more. I feel like we're taking him to a barren wasteland void of relatives and contacts. I feel like we're ripping his little universe apart. I can't imagine doing this when he'd be 7 or 12 years old. It must be awful for parents who transplant their kids at that stage in their life or older.

I'm not sure if Seb's family understands our leaving. I know they think the worst will happen--we'll go bankrupt, eat terrible food and die from scorpion stings--or something along those lines. When we walked away on Monday I saw the panic on their faces "oh dear they're walking into a huge bear trap! If only they could see it! If only they'd reconsider!" and I think that was the basis for a lot of their tears.

When we talk about their visiting us in Mexico they get very concerened looks on their faces and shake they're heads. "it's too much money. We don't speak the language. We don't even speak any english. What if we get lost in the airport!!" They are scared.

I realize that they probably will come one day because they will have to. They will need to see us, Little S and the new baby. It makes me feel relieved that they will be forced to come and see us, forced to break out of their mold. I know that this will change them in a way they can't even imagine. They will see the world a new way. Even if it scares or repulses them they will be forced to look at life from a whole new viewpoint. In short our leaving is probably the best gift we can give to them. Even if we are tearing out their hearts right now they will come to understand that life beyond France is fresh and exciting and scary and wonderful. They will become world travellers whether they want to or not.