Blah, bleck, blah, blah

Groooooan. It´s looking more and more like we´ll be heading back home, so much for all the heavy praying I´ve been doing. We are just not meant to be here plain and simple. We have gradually accepted the fact that it will soon be time to pack up our things (again) and git. Accepting this has been a little like those people who stay with bad men and everyone keeps telling them LEAVE but they never do. They just keep hoping the person will change. I am in real denial. I keep hoping the situation changes. But today though I passed right on through the small appliance aisle at Walmart (I´m a small appliance addict) and didn´t even stop. Now that´s acceptance.

We are going to be moving to Paris and that´s pretty cool. I´ve never lived there before. We will be closer to the family which can be good and bad but maybe it will be good. We´ll get some us time because mil and fil will happily hop on the autoroute and babysit for entire weekends. That´s a good thing I guess (denial popping up again...) And um what else...cheese back in my life! I´ve missed you cheese! And not to mention dear, crusty baguette (not thinking about Mexican food, not thinking about Mexican food...not thinking) And what else? Oh the markets, I´ve really missed the weekly open air market in France! And my few friends. I´ve missed seeing them. My friend Huri is going to have her baby in May and I´m really excited about that. And my dear, good friends Jess and Dee who seemed a million miles away will now be back in my backyard. And my new friends from last year Lily and Gwyn who I´ve kept up with in e-mail can become part of my life again. I´ve missed my small intimate circle of buddies.

But then the bad stuff crops back up. I hate the rain in France. And I will miss the smiling faces I see everyday here. I so love the way Mexicans smile all the time and seem so genuinely happy to help you. And the food is something that I have fallen head over heels in love with. Where on earth will I get that fix in France! And okay maybe I´m being a petty consumerist but I may actually miss the Walmart Supercenter being right down the street from me and lets not even talk about how much I´m going to miss Costco and all the free samples. And the saddest part of all is that we won´t have time to visit Oaxaca, Xochimilco, San Miguel, Tepotzotlan, Malinalco, Mexico City, Matehuala and the list goes on. I am really bummed about that. Seb and I are taking a week off somewhere here to travel to the Yucatan to at least see some ruins. Oh and finally yes, I wanted to learn Spanish!! I have been studying so hard (and will continue to) but I will have no one to talk to and that really makes me sad. This whole move is just so sad.

This weekend we are going to go to France for three weeks and begin to investigate our new life a little. Seb has company business and I am going to explore whether or not we want to live in the city or on the outskirts...or better yet really on the outskirts. I´m not sure I´m good city material. I like me some backyard too much and honestly after leaving this jagillion square foot house we live in (sob) I think it will be nearly impossible to squeeze ourselves into a tiny Parisien apartment. We are truly and completely spoiled. Mexican houses are enormous. Even people from the States are jealous of our life here.

But accept we will I suppose. Miracles always happen in the eleventh hour in movies, right? I can just see it now...the wife is holding the baby, the husband walks in and hugs the toddler who is standing in front of a pile of boxes. He smiles and says "guess what honey, unpack your bags because we´re staying! They´ve tripled my salary!"

Only in the movies I guess...