My little blog is now three* years old. Well as of last month that is. I´m not very good at keeping track of the exact date. It feels like I've been blogging since the Upper Paleolithic anyway. I mean was there ever a time when there wasn't The Blog? Oh yes there were long winded e-mails to my mom and sister before this. My mom presented me with the printed stack last time she visited with a hurt look "you never write me anymore!" "Read my blog mom. I write there all the time." She doesn't like my blog . She doesn't feel comfortable reading it.
In three years my blog has been my buddy. It has told the story of my two babies, the renovation of our house, our two moves and the ups and downs of being an expat American woman living in France--(sometimes serving as the ranting room for all those misadventures). When I'm trying to make decisions I can now go back and look at my blog to see what I was feeling at the time in my life when something similar happened. In that way this blog is very much for me. But this blog is also a public forum where people come in and go out expressing their feelings and telling me what they think about the things that happen to me. For some reason I can´t quite put my finger on I enjoy that. For some reason I find what other's have to say about my life interesting.
The odd phenomenon of blogging is how letting mere strangers read your personal thoughts can feel completely normal, but vulnerability surfaces when someone we know reads what we write. Recently a real life friend or two have discovered my blog. I felt a little guilty for not giving them the information sooner. When you are a friend who stumbles across a blog such as this, three year of writing, you probably feel like the person is hiding something to not have told you about something so huge. The real truth is that there is a lot of personal history in three years of writing (it builds up over time), and since some of these friends have come into my life in those last few years it wasn´t something I was willing to just dump into their laps right away, and then way just sort of lead on to way and so I never fessed up and told them "hey there´s this place where I´ve got all kinds of meanderings and whining and fun stuff!" So yes they were a little shocked to stumble upon three years of reflection from someone they thought they knew pretty well. I still haven't heard back on what they thought about it all. I bet they´re still reading through my archives or else they didn't find much interesting past the first few posts, or else worse yet maybe something I've long since written about shocked them. There´s a lot of uncensored stuff here that maybe even I have forgotten about. Sometimes when I read back I wonder what was I thinking when I wrote that?
Two of my closest friends know about my blog and read it often. I told them fairly early on about my blogging because I tell them pretty much everything and I wanted them to know what was going on in my head. Sometimes I forget they read it and they´ll say impatiently as I´m telling a story "oh yeah it was in your blog" So there is the weird phenomenon of not getting to surprise my friends with things that I tell the rest of the world before I tell them. It´s never intentional it´s just that I blog nearly every day when I can and I talk with them much less often.
One of the people I´ve know the longest on the internet is my friend Em. It's odd that we have never actually met in person. And we rarely e-mail each other but we've been friends since 2004 when we met on a pregnancy forum because we shared due date. I think she was one of my first blog readers as were a lot of people from the same forum. I was really excited when she first started her own blog and I enjoy keeping up with her through it. We have supported each other through some very tough times and it was thanks to her and another long time internet friend Arwen that I was able to get through a lot of infertility issues. It´s odd that although I´ve never met either one of them I know that if I walked in to their houses I'd instantly feel as at home as I would in any one of my other "real life" friends homes. I know so much about them, probably things their family and friends may not know.
I've only met three bloggers in real life. Those were all three good experiences, a little surreal at first, but overall a fun adventure in which a blogger friend crosses over into real life friend. I somehow don't consider them blogger friends anymore and it puts the relationship in a strange place because you still read their blog and you have the behind the scenes tour, but you're still reading as a blog friend. All three were people I´d become real life friends with after only a short blogger relationship so it was definitely odd to suddenly meet a near stranger and yet come to consider them as a friend. The relationships have continued for the past few years via their blogs and occasional e-mails so I do consider them differently now. I´m still friends with two of them but the third relationship has soured as I discovered that she is someone who has a rich collection of internet friends and has done her fair share of meet ups over the years. She made it clear that she doesn't consider internet-met friends real life realm friends--she still considers blogger met friends as simply internet friends. This bothered me and made me feel cheap for being categorized (bloggers like to categorize though, surprise surprise ). Were you supposed to care about someone less because you'd met them through the internet?** Her blog has evolved quite a few times over the time I've met her and she has picked up on a whole new set of internet friends, summarily disposing of last year's models, and deleting chunks of acquaintances from her sidebar on a regular basis to make room for the new. Meanwhile it took me a lot of effort to finally delete her from my blog roll and be done with her. It made me a little sad because I've known her for a few years now. That's what I don't like so much about internet friendships. It's not so simple to dispose of real life friends but internet friends are easy to leave by the curb with the click of a delete button and no real explanations other than saying your interests have changed.
Overall my last three years have been a good experience. I really enjoy blogging and taking pictures, reading other people's blogs and making friends through the internet. Even if there have been a few rotten apples overall I've found my internet friends to be supportive and full of information. I have been especially grateful for the moms I've met and their goodwill. Their advice and support has been so incredibly helpful. When I first had Little S I felt different being in conservative France, trying out attachment parenting and using cloth diapers. You never meet anyone in France who uses cloth diapers. I got a lot of strange remarks from the people around me, -- neighbors, mil and the doctors, but thanks to my blogging I came across hundreds of moms who were like me and I didn't feel so "out there." And wow the things I've learned from those moms could fill a book or two.
I'm still enjoying blogging. Thank you for letting me share my words.
*oops I wrote four years initially but it´s really only three *blush*
**my mom would definitely say web here instead of internet. I'm laughing hearing her voice saying "is that one of your web friends honey?" My mom is so cute.
In three years my blog has been my buddy. It has told the story of my two babies, the renovation of our house, our two moves and the ups and downs of being an expat American woman living in France--(sometimes serving as the ranting room for all those misadventures). When I'm trying to make decisions I can now go back and look at my blog to see what I was feeling at the time in my life when something similar happened. In that way this blog is very much for me. But this blog is also a public forum where people come in and go out expressing their feelings and telling me what they think about the things that happen to me. For some reason I can´t quite put my finger on I enjoy that. For some reason I find what other's have to say about my life interesting.
The odd phenomenon of blogging is how letting mere strangers read your personal thoughts can feel completely normal, but vulnerability surfaces when someone we know reads what we write. Recently a real life friend or two have discovered my blog. I felt a little guilty for not giving them the information sooner. When you are a friend who stumbles across a blog such as this, three year of writing, you probably feel like the person is hiding something to not have told you about something so huge. The real truth is that there is a lot of personal history in three years of writing (it builds up over time), and since some of these friends have come into my life in those last few years it wasn´t something I was willing to just dump into their laps right away, and then way just sort of lead on to way and so I never fessed up and told them "hey there´s this place where I´ve got all kinds of meanderings and whining and fun stuff!" So yes they were a little shocked to stumble upon three years of reflection from someone they thought they knew pretty well. I still haven't heard back on what they thought about it all. I bet they´re still reading through my archives or else they didn't find much interesting past the first few posts, or else worse yet maybe something I've long since written about shocked them. There´s a lot of uncensored stuff here that maybe even I have forgotten about. Sometimes when I read back I wonder what was I thinking when I wrote that?
Two of my closest friends know about my blog and read it often. I told them fairly early on about my blogging because I tell them pretty much everything and I wanted them to know what was going on in my head. Sometimes I forget they read it and they´ll say impatiently as I´m telling a story "oh yeah it was in your blog" So there is the weird phenomenon of not getting to surprise my friends with things that I tell the rest of the world before I tell them. It´s never intentional it´s just that I blog nearly every day when I can and I talk with them much less often.
One of the people I´ve know the longest on the internet is my friend Em. It's odd that we have never actually met in person. And we rarely e-mail each other but we've been friends since 2004 when we met on a pregnancy forum because we shared due date. I think she was one of my first blog readers as were a lot of people from the same forum. I was really excited when she first started her own blog and I enjoy keeping up with her through it. We have supported each other through some very tough times and it was thanks to her and another long time internet friend Arwen that I was able to get through a lot of infertility issues. It´s odd that although I´ve never met either one of them I know that if I walked in to their houses I'd instantly feel as at home as I would in any one of my other "real life" friends homes. I know so much about them, probably things their family and friends may not know.
I've only met three bloggers in real life. Those were all three good experiences, a little surreal at first, but overall a fun adventure in which a blogger friend crosses over into real life friend. I somehow don't consider them blogger friends anymore and it puts the relationship in a strange place because you still read their blog and you have the behind the scenes tour, but you're still reading as a blog friend. All three were people I´d become real life friends with after only a short blogger relationship so it was definitely odd to suddenly meet a near stranger and yet come to consider them as a friend. The relationships have continued for the past few years via their blogs and occasional e-mails so I do consider them differently now. I´m still friends with two of them but the third relationship has soured as I discovered that she is someone who has a rich collection of internet friends and has done her fair share of meet ups over the years. She made it clear that she doesn't consider internet-met friends real life realm friends--she still considers blogger met friends as simply internet friends. This bothered me and made me feel cheap for being categorized (bloggers like to categorize though, surprise surprise ). Were you supposed to care about someone less because you'd met them through the internet?** Her blog has evolved quite a few times over the time I've met her and she has picked up on a whole new set of internet friends, summarily disposing of last year's models, and deleting chunks of acquaintances from her sidebar on a regular basis to make room for the new. Meanwhile it took me a lot of effort to finally delete her from my blog roll and be done with her. It made me a little sad because I've known her for a few years now. That's what I don't like so much about internet friendships. It's not so simple to dispose of real life friends but internet friends are easy to leave by the curb with the click of a delete button and no real explanations other than saying your interests have changed.
Overall my last three years have been a good experience. I really enjoy blogging and taking pictures, reading other people's blogs and making friends through the internet. Even if there have been a few rotten apples overall I've found my internet friends to be supportive and full of information. I have been especially grateful for the moms I've met and their goodwill. Their advice and support has been so incredibly helpful. When I first had Little S I felt different being in conservative France, trying out attachment parenting and using cloth diapers. You never meet anyone in France who uses cloth diapers. I got a lot of strange remarks from the people around me, -- neighbors, mil and the doctors, but thanks to my blogging I came across hundreds of moms who were like me and I didn't feel so "out there." And wow the things I've learned from those moms could fill a book or two.
I'm still enjoying blogging. Thank you for letting me share my words.
*oops I wrote four years initially but it´s really only three *blush*
**my mom would definitely say web here instead of internet. I'm laughing hearing her voice saying "is that one of your web friends honey?" My mom is so cute.
16 comments:
Four years! I'm coming up on that much time too, in a week or 10 days.
Blogging has been great for me, in so many ways.
Happy Blogiversary!
Wow. Four Years! It's really interesting hearing your experiences of how real life and internet have overlapped (or not). It's a shame that not all your internet friendships have been rosy, but it's lovely for you to have found good friends through your blog. It's hard to describe the connection you can make with people you've never met - on the one hand they are a stranger, but on the other you know so much about each other and you can find people with the same values or issues to deal with or same circumstances, and those connections can make you very close.
Congrats on such a long and successful blogging career - I'm looking forward to keeping up with your life in the future!
It's a funny thing, the internet. Many years ago, I happened upon a woman who became a close friend, though strictly through our email exchanges. Living on opposite coasts, she decided to come to California to vist another friend, and to meet me. Suffice to say, her "real life" personality was more difficult than her email-self, and I found myself suddenly no longer interested in the friendship. It was so strange, and so disappointing.
wow 4 years! ive really enjoyed reading your blog, i hope i will get to meet you and all the little ones in real life sometime.
going by your French blog roll list (and who isnt on it) i think i know who the third person is, i had a similar experience with her.
Happy Blog Anniversary!
My family has had similar reactions to my blogging and writing less e-mails.
Alison you've been blogging longer than me. I realized I made a mistake when I said four years. It's actually three. Silly me!
Guera - I suddenly know all these Aussie bloggers thanks to your blog so that's fun. I've learned how to make cross buns too! Yum!
Sara I had the feeling I wasn't the only one.
Meredith I'm lucky because my family saved all the e-mails and they are really funny to read.
Hooray! I believe I'm one of those three blogger friends that has crossed over to real life! :-) And you will always be more than a pretty font on MY sidebar. :-)
It was funny to come to your blog today and read this post since I, too, just posted on the phenomenon of blogging. It's definitely a great way to stay connected with people and, especially when you're living in another country, to realize that what are considered strange quirks in your personality or lifestyle are actually completely normal in other parts of the world.
Hey neighbor! Yes you were one of the three and there is also LeeAnn of Odessa Street who I forgot that I'd met be it ever so briefly. She was really fun. Going over to read what you wrote today...
Congratulations! Three years, four years - its still a great commitment to have made :). I hope your recent experience doesn't sour things for you. Its weird how some people are.
I've been blogging for a year and have made a good friend here through blogging and lots of blog friends I havent met yet...maybe one day. A recent experience for me has been meeting a french woman who is also a blogger so I'm getting to know her through her blog as well as IRL - what a crazy fun world!
Congratulations!
I am so glad I found your blog. I love reading about your life with your husband and the kind of mother you are to your kids. I admire the way you have managed issues that have come up. And it's funny to me that you look back at the things you've written and wonder what you were thinking. You seem so grounded to me!
I've only met one person through my blog and she was a reader, not a blogger, so I guess it was different. Most of my friends know about my blog but they don't read it, or at least not regularly. My family does though. I think my blog is a G-rated version of me. Since my parents read it and I figure my clients might find it, I tend to censor myself A LOT.
There are a few bloggers I wouldn't mind meeting in real life because I think we would make good friends and I think the internet creates a weird sort of vaccuum for friendship. You can be incredibly honest, but also not show your face.
Sheesh. I am rambling. What I want to say is I am a big fan. And if our paths ever cross I would be very happy to meet you in real life. Without web/life categories.
Penny all my e-mails to my family were from when I lived in Annecy. There was a lot of gushing about the scenery. Your blog and Emily's bring back lots of memories of living there, especially because like me you guys are not only uncovering the city of Annecy and Hte. Savoie for the first time but France too. MY perspective of France and French people has always had that slant to it. It's a funny place to uncover French culture!
Jennifer - I think we're in the mutual admiration society. Your writing is what first drew me in to your blog. You have a real gift. I never commented in the past, just lurked. I don't know why but there are a few blogs where I've done that maybe out of intimidation. I'm glad I've become a regular reader and commenter and I'm chuffed that you read my blog now!
You know as much as we both move we could very well end up as neighbors one day.
I think I'm blushing.
Note to self: Find out if G is interested in moving to Parisian suburbs.
Congrats on the blogiversary! I found your blog from other links, and have been actively following as in addition to babies, we're also renovating an old house and though Swiss, my DH is French-speaking.
I've not been blogging that long, and I don't have a huge array of readers, but I have been on chat groups for 10+ years now and have developed many "real" friendships. Oddly enough, though, I've only ever met one online friend who lived outside my area (that would be Sara! :)). I did meet a few from a local chat group during wedding planning but that dropped quickly. I have one friend I've "known" for more than 10 years now who feels so close, I forget we've never met in person. And of course there are a few who've been less, uhm, well...(we may have one in common)
The internet is a weird place, good, but odd. :) Happy Blogging!
I've been off-line for a while because my blogging computer has been sick. I hope we are able to meet one of these days. I feel like it will happen eventually. Until then, I'll enjoy keeping up the friendship through blog posts and the occasional email.
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