We went to the park again today because you know I have my little routine, and It was something we looked forward to because we would be meeting up with the French mother Sara who I´ve been trying to get together with for a while. She´s really nice and I met her at S´s school because I heard her speaking, ...err screaming actually to her boys in French saying "on fait pas les betises les garcons!!...s'il vous plait arret ca tout suite!" or something like that. I immediately went up and talked with her because if there´s anything I´m nostalgic for it´s the musical notes of French women reprimending their kids in public places. The things you miss when you leave a place I tell you! It turns out Little S and her boy Thomas are the same age by only a few weeks and they have the common trait of not talking very much and both have articulation problems. And then we quickly discovered that both of our husbands work for The Company so we had lots to chat about, especially at all these Mexican kiddie birthday parties we seem to always be going to. Whenever we leave the parties we always end up saying "we should get together sometime" but we never actually got around to it yet. Today we met at the section of the park where I've been going each day now for a few weeks, sitting under the trees drawing and feeding the baby while Little S runs around making new friends under my watchful eye. I have enjoyed our outings and the fresh air but I don't think we will continue going. One reason is because of the mosquitos which are killing us. The other reason is because of the freaky thing that happened today. I was sitting on a small blanket chatting with Sara and suddenly we noticed several school kids standing by us which happens quite often actually. I greeted them and they didn´t answer which I found odd because the kids usually respond but these kids were a little odd, they just kept staring. Then they started touching the baby and she started crying and gradually more kids came and stood watching us until there were about fifty kids just staring at us and at least five at a time touching the boys hair and face and at least ten circled around touching the baby--it was freaky because they were so wide eyed and I understand now how a celebrity must feel panicked when she loses her bodyguard and people get all freaky-weird treating her like an object. Yep it was a Whitney Houston moment sin Kevin Costner. Even when we tried to move to the swings they followed us in a very large group, touching, touching and whispering. At our cars as we struggled to get our kids strapped in one at a time they pulled at the other child, pulled at the baby and the stroller and just stared like we were part of a play they were watching.
I realize they were most likely kids from the projects brought to the park on a bus from the mountains for dia del Niño which was today, and they had probably never seen an entire family of fair skinned blondes before (Sara and her boys are blond like Little S and Charlotte) and the combination of the light skin, light hair and the unusual French stroller along with this family must have all seemed so alien to them. I see these project kids from time to time at the park and I often chat with them, or try to in my bad Spanish. They are generally nice one on one. One boy last week was doing the funny stare thing and he wouldn´t really talk to me and then he just blurted out something in Spanish, and I heard the word "gringa" like a label and I said to him "no no...no soy gringa...soy americana... norte americana" You know kind of reprimending him. And he looked very confused after that because I´m sure his parents have taught him gringo but not taught him the geographical signifigance of the word (not to mention the racist connotations). Anyway my shock was in how many of these kids there were today and how they treated us like objects and not people. It was freaky for us and for our kids because they were being touched all over and not in an "Oh you´re such a cutie!" way that happens in the supermarket time after time, but in a weird "zombie from the dead" kind of way, because the kids were so seriously intrigued that they weren't respecting our personal space at all.
Sara told me later that her husband doesn't want her to go to this park alone and she felt like I shouldn't be going alone every day like this, to the same spot, especially with Seb gone and me being in the country with no one here. So yes I think we´ll find another activity from 4-6 or at least go to another section of the park with a friend next time we go. I´m not fearful of ten year old kids acting like this, just annoyed, but if it were older boys having that reaction, like the countless teenagers I´ve seen there, I would have been really frightened instead of just slightly freaked out. Time to find a new place to hang out I suppose.
When we got home the landlord dropped by to ask if he could show our house tomorrow morning at ten o´clock (meaning 11 o´clock Mexican time...see I´m learning!) I said fine but inside I was not feeling fine about it because it meant I´d have to do a huge clean to make the house presentable. The house is a huge mess with Seb gone and this big house is impossible to clean anyway. So I have spent half the night scrubbing and cleaning and I am cursing Seb´s company because ordinarily I would not have to be doing this because we shouldn't be moving and ordinarily my husband would be here, right? I have this fantasy where I walk into a huge board meeting and I just rant at everyone important for about thirty minutes (it would be convenient if it were that time of the month too so I can rant in style). I talked with Sara today though and she has issues with The Company too and feels that the family is just a nat under the heel of a very big, smelly combat boot. They feel like things need to improve or else The Company is going to have some serious issues piled up. I was so happy to hear her say that because we were feeling pretty alone here in our mess and while it doesn't seem like her mess is as big as ours it's clear that The Company needs to revise their expatriation protocol because they aren't exactly turning the wives into company cheerleaders.
7 comments:
You know, I have been subject to the zombie stare and crowding thing. I think you're right, you shouldn't stick to a routine, keep things varied and don't go to the same places all the time.
Yikes I hadn't thought of that about the routine!
To be honest though our "routine" is a bit of a moveable feast as in we do outside play at the same time each day but sometimes it's at the park, sometimes just the back garden.
What about figuring out some kind of three day routine? Thatway you know what you're doing but it will work out as being on differant days all the time.
To be honest, I feel bad for not speaking up beforehand--but then it's been awhile since I lived in Mexico, and so I have have let my guard down some.
I am very blonde and VERY pale, and that always resulted in lots of attention during my time living in Maz. In fact, after three years of walking down the same street every day, the SAME people (men mostly) would yell comments to me as though they didn't realize I was the same damn girl everyday. In that way, we are objects and not people--we're gringos. I did spend more and more time locked in my house, especially when my husband was gone (He would often go up to Canada for a month at a time for work). Again, yet another reason I left. I never felt totally free, and I never felt secure out on my own.
Of course, the routine thing is the same here, but it's certainly more risky in Mexico, where your fair skin means that you and your children are worth a lot of money (whether or not that's true). Play it safe, and try to plan more activities in your house and your friends' houses. At least until Seb can go along with you.
Oh and BTW, I tagged you for a meme, if you do those things.
Alyssa since I´m not blonde I tend to blend in more. I know blondes get lots more attention here and have so many more remarks when they go out. I know this from my blonde babies who get at least 15 people stopping to touch them when we´re in the supermarket! I don´t mind the attention most times, except when they wake up the baby or when it goes on for too long and I can´t continue my shopping. What happened at the park was just weird not so much scary. Very weird in fact.
I´m not scared here at all but I know that you can develop a false sense of security when you travel and it takes time to learn what and where is safe.
I totally understand that these kids are mostly just interested in you and your babies because they sometimes haven't ever seen anyone like you. And there's nothing wrong with that!
However, you're right that you can become an object to them, instead of a person, and that's where I get freaked out.
You have a lot of experience traveling, especially with children, and so I'm sure you'll figure your routine out. It just really took me back to some of my less-than-pleasant experiences when I read your post.
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