30 days: day 26

Yesterday like many days here I had that urge to escape to the wilderness and be in the open air away from concrete, and brick buildings, gates and automobiles. I dropped Little S off at school and then drove around to a neighborhood I often visit when I have this urge. It is situated on the outer western edge of the city, high above a hill not far from the Montesorri and it has the loveliest views of the hills and the valley. There I can breathe.

One of the most difficult aspects of Mexico for me is fulfilling this need. It isn´t possible to just walk outside and be in nature. And unfortunately it isn´t safe to just go off walking. I have a constant urge to hike and walk and escape from the confines of my home and this privada where we live. I have a constant urge to get away and feel the earth crunch beneath my boots, study flowers, collect rocks, get lost, run my finger over well-worn map, feel the wind..., to discover a cow pasture or stumble upon a small lake at the base of a mountain. I imagine walks like this all the time, in my mind´s eye I am pulled in to a world where I am regenerating, shedding a layer of myself as I sit on a broken tree stump pulling a half warm bottle of water from my backpack.

Without these walks I am a lost soul, bumping aimlessly about. I am not the me that is me. The me that I know.

Our Mexico is urban, closed. We are prisoners trapped in the most pleasant of circumstances but here furthering someone else´s agenda and not our own. It will be good to get back to our world, --mountains and forest. It will be a nice feeling to pull on those boots again and have an open path in front of me.

My little walk was good. I didn´t leave the neighborhood. It wouldn´t have been wise, but I did soak in the view enough to be able to breathe a little better.