Florida dreams

This month is speeding by and I will turn around and before I know it my time in Florida will be gone and Paris life will be awaiting me. I'm trying to enjoy my time with my family as much as possible, taking little stock notes on all the moments spent with my sister and brother--watching them interact with their new niece and watching my brother marvel at Little S. "He's what six years old now?" "Nope," I say, "still just three." "Really, wow he looks kind of big for his age." "Nope" I say "just an average sized three year old." They aren't very good at keeping track of birthdays but I know they love him. They don't have kids of their own.



On the Fourth of July, Little S's first, we spent the first half of the evening with my brother and sister doing a family barbecue around their pool and then we took the boat out on the water so we could watch the colors explode all around us. When you're in the boat you see every little town's display. It's magical! The sun melted in a magnificent puddle between a pair of buildings and I mused as I often do about what life would be like for us here in my hometown. It seems like life is so much easier in the States. Why is that? Maybe it's all an illusion. My friend Bea and I used to call it the greener grass syndrome because so many Americans think living in France is romantic and so many French think life in the States is a cakewalk. Neither is really true but yet both are kind of. And yes the grass is always greener on the other side when you have a taste of one or the other or when you're forced to be apart from one or the other.





Today I spent the day with my sister at Wall Springs Park near my parent's house where we went exploring and shot some photos. I love the Florida Parks System. I would have made a good Florida parks ranger. I love the natural beauty of my State so much and I would love to be in it all day, protecting the animals and wildlife. I have dreams of traveling back in time as a Seminole, foraging barefoot beneath beautiful cypress trees, canoeing past opaque orchids lit from behind by the afternoon sun or tracking the prints of an elusive panther in a ferny marsh just as a humid rainstorm begins. I really do have dreams like this sometimes. I once saw a wise woman, a crazy sooth who told me odd things and who took my hands in hers and told me "you've lived in Florida in many past lives you know and your connection to this land is so strong. You are attached --not so much to the people but to the land itself and its natural elements." I shook my head in agreement and a chill ran through me when she said that. This place like a handful of others pulses through my blood. It's a big part of the reason I have a hard time getting on the plane for France each time I have to leave. The landscape seduces me not in a charming, bewitching way but in a mentally tactile way--from deep within.

"One day we will own a house in Florida and in France. This way we can be happy all the time." Seb often says to me. He is a wonderful husband. It may not ever happen but at least he tells me what I long to hear--what I need to hear. At least I can dream of my little cottage house a few streets away from the Gulf near a wonderful slice of perfectly preserved Florida.