I know she won't. My vote cancels her vote and my father, who will cancel his vote?
This is why I have a giant lump in my throat. I can't shake the feeling of doom and fear about the upcoming elections. I am finding it impossible to fall asleep at night and I have baked about a hundred cookies and cakes in the past week out of anxiety (baking is a venting mechanism for me....always has been) . Although I want election day to hurry up and be over, at the same time I am really afraid it won't play out like it has to. I am incredibly anxious, so much so that I couldn't talk to my father in law about it yesterday without getting emotional. He wanted to discuss how McCain would drag France into a war and I just couldn't think straight because the mere mention of that man's name in connection with a possible presidency lately has me gripped with panic. I quickly changed the subject.
It's all because of the 2000 elections. I was working at a little business school in Savoie, France at the time. My boss was a kindred spirit, intelligent and well-read, she had lived much of her fascinating life between Bosnia, the US and France among other countries. I really enjoyed talking with her because we shared the same views about politics and the world. I really loved her mind and wanted to have her brain because she knew so much. She put political and social ideas into such good perspective and she had so many rich experiences to draw on that I would hear her say something and then I'd say "yes, yes...exactly." I wanted to be able to put my ideas into the words she so effortlessly could so I picked her brain a lot. We talked often about the upcoming election and this character "Bush," and the idea that he had been elected to the Republican party, "what were they thinking?" It seemed like to us that it was a surefire way for the Democratic party to win. It would be a shoe-in, even my worldly political boss knew that.
How wrong we were. I could barely teach my classes that day after the results. I was in complete and utter shock. I am still reeled by the fact that this man won a presidential election--TWO TIMES.
So I have a huge lump in my throat and I am holding my breath. And I can't concentrate on much of anything, excuse me.
And while we wait in agony here is my little tribute to the Republican party for their grand exit on Tuesday night:
You Haven't Done Nothing!! (rock it Stevie!)
(he wrote this song for Richard Nixon in the 70's)
.
9 comments:
Ah I feel the same and I cant even vote! I have had to let it go and stop thinking about it...
While you have been baking in anxiety, I have been eating. While the economy and war is on everyones mind, my greatest fear is that at the end of this election, racism will control this county. And if it does, how can I continue to live here and tell my children that everyone has an equal shot at success? Pass me some cake.
I voted a few weeks ago by absentee ballot in a very democratic state (New York) so it's not like my vote makes a huge difference, but still, I vote.
I'm not so sure how my mom will vote, but I think my dad will go with McCain despite pretty much acknowledging to me on the phone this past weekend that McCain was a very wrong choice and cracking Palin jokes with me.
My grandparents are staunch Republicans which amazes me because if my grandmother were more informed, she'd realize that she's actually a social progressive. She just doesn't know that means or what more Republican policy entails for women and old people. Basically my grandparents will vote for whomever claims he will lower their taxes.
I can't see though how McCain could possibly win at this point.
Oh Penny I wish you could vote!
Hexe you and I are the important voters :) My vote still counts for Florida even though it's an overseas vote. It must be twice as hard to be sitting there in Florida waiting, overhearing all those retired-conservative conversations and being forced to listen to the (very biased) local news. Agh I'd go insane!
Jennifer it's that generation. My parents who I think are probably closer to the age of your grandparents, don't like McCain either but they really don't like Obama at all. They always vote conservative. It's impossible for them to vote the opposite way. They've been voting for years and they have the media appealing to all their fears.
Have Hope! My husband works in politics here in DC and word in both D and R circles is that McCain is already out. I think Tuesday will be really exciting!
Oh God I haven't been able to take my eyes off those RSS feeds!! Hubby is sick and tired of this, for him the elections can't come soon enough... and I agree... but I just can't help it... I know every thing is pointing towards an Obama win so far but I just can't help being skeptical. I'm superstitious like that: don't count your eggs.... etc, etc, etc.
And btw, we also tried convincing my grandparents to vote Obama... no can do. They are good ol' Texans and even harder Republicans. I guess it's a generation thing...
Fned.
I feel the same way. The 2000 elections were sooooooo shicking nad the 2004 even more so. I could NOT believe that Bush was reelected. How stupid are we? I am filled with the same doom and fear over this election and can only hope and pray that we find change in our future.
By the way, I also wanted to mention that it sounds like little S is developing quite well. Have heard no mention about his speech or verbal issues of past. I am glad to hear that.
lauren - I am going to hope your husband is right but then again in the last two election as I said it was a shock to everyone. Obama could likely get the popular vote and I think he will but can he pull the whole thing off? Fned is right it's going to be very umm, well she says exciting but I think I'll be tense!! I just hope my internet doesn't blip out because we don't have tv!
ro - Little S because has improved in communicating with me and a little bit more with his dad but no one else really, not even his grandparents. He says NOTHING at school. One day a few weeks ago he said "merci" when they gave him a piece of cake and they were so impressed because they said it was the first word he's said to anyone since school started. It made me sad because he apparently doesn't speak with other kids either. Maybe he's just really shy we aren't sure.
You've summed up my feelings well.
We live in anxious anticipation here. Can we actually hope the right thing will happen? I vote in Texas which doesn't matter but I'd at least like to see some purple swing. I have family in Ohio whom I'd dearly like to convince to vote differently but it won't happen. At least I have a sister in Indiana who's on the campaign for Obama, even her son in college in Alabama is flying home to IN to vote so it will matter (too late to register absentee).
I have this pit in my stomach, waiting.
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