It includes:
oversized t-shirts
ill fitting jeans
no make-up
hair in a ponytail
no haircut or BAD haircut
a "favorite" sweat jacket
sneakers never heels (or dirty sneakers)
dirty, ragged fingernails
never wearing jewelry
unshaved armpits/legs
bad posture
always looking tired (& complaining)
I see it all the time as I follow the moms to pick up our kids at the preschool. I make mental notes of what not to do. I'm not naturally glamorous but I'm aware that frump is contagious and frump can spread like a disease. I try to avoid those clichés. I am trying to try harder.
But obviously not hard enough.
A mom came up to me yesterday at the school and gave me a usb key full of cute pictures of the kids at their little circus gym that they go to every Friday. They take a bus and her husband took tons of photos, and to be funny he shot some photos of me and another mom friend outside the bus window seeing our kids off.
Agh! Frump! Ill fitting jeans, unwashed hair, oversized shirt, bad posture, etc, etc. and unshaved armpits (I bet). I look like the underpaid nanny of that adorable child (who I'm holding like a sack of potatoes). I am one of those BEFORE photos in the before and afters they do on reality makeover shows. The fashion disaster.
The other person in the photo is a mom friend who looks fabulous all the time. She's so put together every day. ANYWAY, time for a makeover. Time to dump the frump and clean out the closet.
On coming back the same dad also took a picture of Seb out the window who was there to pick up Little S. Seb looks great! What is this well dressed man doing with that frumpy woman?
(Just by chance it's the same mom friend in the photo too, don't mean to paste her on the internet--like I said she always looks great)
17 comments:
YES! I have two more weeks of grace period, then something must be done.
For me the issue is money. Since having kids I feel incredibly guilty spending any money on myself for trivial things like new clothes. Ergo, the frump.
(At least my hair looks good.)
I went back and looked at your list and now I'm cringing. I have committed all frump sins.
But please don't make me wear heels!
Me too. I never spend money on myself. I've decided to start a little frump fund though. I think it can include a once a month hair cut or a visit to the salon for a style, once a season new jeans (that actually fit), and a once a month splurge on a new beauty product like gloss or whatever. I'm just going to cut back on spending somewhere else.
Because if mama ain't happy...
and by heels I mean pretty shoes--like flats or sandals
I'm glad you brought this up because I'm going through a slump right now! Ugh. I have to snap out of it! I need someoone to pour cold water on me or slap me in the face! I can't seem to break free of it! HELP!!! LOL.
Oh. One more thing. My husband gave me some money back around Christmas time to spend on myself and its still sitting in my wallet! How pathetic is that! I keep holding out buying anything until I lose weight but the scale is going in the wrong direction! Ugh. :O(
I always go to Tchip (pronounced Cheap in France). It's a hair salon chain and for a cut and a colour, you can't go wrong for 27 Euros. And they actually cut my curly hair right!
Undoing the frump is an investment. If mom feels sexy, papa is happy. BOW CHICKA WOW WOW!
Well....I was a frump pre-baby. And post-baby, well, I kept hoping to be pregnant again so I had an excuse for that "always looks 4 months pg look." Finally I am, so I get a new grace period!
And I work in an office and have to look reasonably presentable, but I think frumpy is me. Or at least Hippie. I'd never survive in France.
Don't know much about the whole after-kid frump thing, but it is something I think all women can fall into from time to time. My neighbor Lynn and I were talking about how on weekends (and now in the evenings) we look like Pig Pen since we jump out of our work clothes and into shorts and old tees to work in the yard, clean out the garage and take the dogs for walks. After a day of cleaning and gardening (no manicures allowed) we just want to put on jammies and tees and drink wine in front of the TV. We are both still young and beautiful, but our energies are redirected toward our homes more than ourselves. Plus with my bad ankles, sneakers are the only footwear I can approach without cringing from pain. This has inspired me to keep up my good work, but meld in some girly stuff as well - but still no wasted cash on manicures.
Now that my baby is 5, maybe I should lose the frump? One of my resolutions this year is to always wear lipstick & earrings.....it's a start. I'm trying to add to my wardrobe, too. This spring I bought a great raincoat that makes me feel fabulous. Maybe I'll buy a well-fitting swimsuit or cute sandals for summer. Bit by bit, I'll get there but I did need this well-timed reminder.
Shaved my legs AND my pits this morning, all because of you. My husband thanks you. Now if I could only get the wardrobe Genie to come and help me de-frump the closet.
Arwen - spend it! you just need one nice fitting pair of jeans. thats whhat i mean about changing jeans each season.
JC - 27 euros is unheard of for cut and color. i have huge salon fear, as much as with dentists. takes me a loooooong time to trust someone.
cherise - go hippie chic!!--my favorite style...kate moss anyone?
Praers- the garden is a problem for fingernails, mine has black dirt and really gets under your skin. funny what you say about this because I actually went to that mom in the photos house one day and she was gardening, she looked casual but amazing--mix of Out of Africa and bobo chic. French women just have a way of throwing something on.
Jill - I think for me it's getting rid of things. I need to clean out what I'm tempted to wear.
Rebecca - Yay to shaved pits! I wish i could have some kind of fashion genie come in & help me clean my closet too. I'd probably get in big fights with him though.
Ha ha, well-timed since I am trying to get myself out of the slump as well (not surprising since Julien and Charlotte are so close in age). In the past two weeks I have managed to clean out my closet, get myself a haircut and buy myself some new shoes. Now I just have to convince myself to wear them -- and not with the sweats that are my around-the-house staple.
My nails are always a mess, though, and a manicure would just be a waste -- too much gardening and dishes.
I don't have kids, but I have been unemployed for 8 months...and I too suffer from all the frumpy-stuff you listed. To me, it seems to have more to do with getting out and being part of the world--something that all us women, mommies and non-mommies--can certainly do.
It DOES feel good to get cleaned up, scrubbed down, and pretty. It's good to be fresh and presentable. Ugghhh. Unemployment sucks. Talk about unmotivated. I need an intervention!
Btw, I am amazed by your art classes Chris. You are an absolute inspiration to me. You should definitely become an art teacher (like, for money!) when you do decide to go back to work (I only say that because I remember you mentioning that you planned to do so sometime in the future). You are incredible!
Its amazing what a difference just wearing clothing that fits can make. I'm with some of the others, lifestyle may not support manicures and such...but that doesn't mean frumpery must reign.
when I take 5 or 10 minutes extra for me, I feel good. and when you feel the difference ... you give off a different vibe that makes you and those around take notice.
I have a HORRIBLE case of frump slump, and my daughter is 18 months old. I need help.
(You look great. I do know what you mean, though.)
Erica - I still try to do mani's once a week or so, totally self pampering, seb and I trade off feet and hand massages--our version of foreplay i guess.
alyssa - thank you--that's really nice to say. I'm not sure anyone would pay me for this but it would be fun if they did wouldn't it. i wish i had some good job leads for you. I'm totally out of the t-bay area loop but restaurants were always my fallback jobs--fun, busy, moola!
njnrr - that's why i do manicures at night in front of the tv--i think people confuse manicure with nail polishing but it just moisturizing and massaging, some self pampering. it get all messy the next day oh well.
sara - i think you're looking at the wrong person in the photo :/ I'm the one with the baby.
i am majorly in the frump slump and one rule i've set for myself is to stop wearing men's clothes. soooo not flattering. :^/
because of you, i'm calling to get a hair appointment!
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