My internet has been really snarky and I can never figure out what to do to get it back if Seb's not here so no blogging for two whole weeks. No wifi here just a wire strung across the doorway that Charlotte always trips over. It works for us most of the time though but it went wacko when Seb left.
Husband is back from China for a few weeks and we're trying to get some jobs done in the house. I have to get back to painting the inside of the house again but I just haven't had much energy lately. I'm still getting used to the single mom schedule which really BITES I have to say. The no adult to talk to part is really tough. No matter how much you love your kids at the end of the day you do need someone else to bounce off big people ideas with. I haven't even had the internet for that thankyouverymuch. Okay end of ::rant::
Seb and I have been busy catching up on it all though and our big debate lately is homeschooling. I don't talk about it much here but basically I have always wanted to homeschool the kids since birth but Seb has never wanted me to. I know homeschool is a controversial subject in the US but in France it's taboo to even talk about it. I've only brought it up once in a group of moms and it was as if I'd mentioned incest or bigamy. I was really surprised by the reactions and I quickly bailed out of the discussion with a sort of " yeah you know I'm not sure how I feel about it..." and I left it at that. I think it's all so new in France. After that though I understood Seb's attitude. It's just unheard of to do such a thing here.
Now that we're moving to China though he's considering the homeschooling route a little bit more. He absolutely agrees that Little S is drowning in the public school system. One week into the school year and we already have a note from the teacher for S to join a study support group after school or at lunch and to start with the psych. I pretty much expected it. He's in a big class this year with thirty kids and it's just impossible for him to focus with his learning problems. At the same time what are his learning problems? We still don't know and we may never know so it makes it even harder to get him help.
I'm doing some reading on what I can do for him and how to manage things. I'm more of the unschooling mindset, (John Holt) and Seb being rigid and well, French..., wants him to follow a routine with a little bell and a CNED book. Maybe we can meet in the middle. Or maybe we'll find a great little alternative school in Shanghai after all. You can see I'm a little terrified of the whole thing. I suppose because if it doesn't work I'll have Big S breathing down my neck saying "I TOLD YOU SO!" At the same time I think I can do better than the public school system where three years later he still can't correctly write his name and he needs after school help after a seven hour day.
I'm off to bed to sleep on the whole issue...again.
9 comments:
I'm sorry that little S is having such a hard time. Obviously the French school system is NOT working. And if the extra study sessions are just more of the same, then that isn't going to work either. The ideal situation would be one that involved assessment to identify his problems and then an educational approach that is tailor-made to maximize his strengths, and to help him find ways to deal with his weaknesses, whatever those are. Maybe you could get there with homeschooling, but I do think that some evaluation by an educational professional to figure out what the problem is in the first place is probably going to end up being the best thing you can do for him, whether that is part of a homeschooling program or a formal school.
Good luck with whatever you decide. I definitely feel your pain about cultural differences regarding childrearing. It's hard.
What about Waldorf or Montessori schools and some homeschooling, too?
My husband's cousin was homeschooled here in France, and that was 35+ years ago. I know my mother-in-law thinks that it was weird. I've met other American moms in Aix that are doing it now and they seem to have a good support system going. Would you have access to a like-minded group in Paris?
Sara - Thanks for your comment. I guess he just had so much assesment last year that I'm wanting to give him a break this year. In his school they say that there clearly is something wrong but they don't know what. Maybe he'll just outgrow it I don't know. Maybe he's just different and he is who he is---those are our conclusions at least.
meredith - I think there are some homeschoolers in France (and growing!) but certainly not in and around our little village, but that's okay. I'm pretty motivated all on my own. As for China there aren't many alternative schools in shanghai, a few yes but in name only, and from what we've seen heard and read they don't stray much from traditional school other than having the materials on the shelf. Chinese school makes French school look like a Waldorf school! Nurturing individuality = not so easily embraced on that side of the world :/
I'm sure you've seen this page, but just in case, check out http://www.shanghaihomeschool.com/. I found thir information very interesting and their links useful.Of course, they are an English speaking group, but perhaps could help with French as well.
Peggy
I had seen that one but forgot about it so thank you for reminding me where it was. It's really interesting because it's one of the few secular groups I've come across. There are lots of homeschoolers in Shanghai because the schools tuition are a small fortune!
Whatever you decide I think it will work better than what the French schools have been able to offer him so far. That system is clearly not working and adding more hours seems like some sort of cruel punishment.
Could you maybe make a deal with your husband where you give homeschooling a year and if it doesn't work, S goes back to the school system but if it does, then you continue with it and he lets up a little?
I would love to see pictures of the house!! have you posted any to flickr?
I totally understand what you're saying about home schooling. Same thing in my couple. The sad part is the French even look at montessori schools with disdain. They are a very loyal society even to the demise of their own descendents, they would rather keep the decrepid systems for strictly "traditional" reasons.
I sympathize with you though I haven't kept up to understand what your son's symptoms are. It was similar with our son all throughout Maternelle and the teachers always dismissed it as "being bilingual." He really couldn't keep up in CP and now in CE1, we finally found an orthophoniste who sent us to some doctors who specilize in "troubles specifique de langage." This is also called Specific Language Impairment. They just diagnosed him to have what they call "dysphasie" in French (though SLI is the more common English term). I had never heard of it up until now. It does affect 7 - 8% of the population. There are tests you can do with an orthophoniste. Don't wait like we did.
maybe seb can come around to seeing hs'ing as a completely customized education. :)
i hope you're able to try it .. if you do, i'm here for you! :)
Jennifer - many of my house pics are on Fb but I don't think you're signed up. I'll try to put some on here. And yes we are making deals now on the hs.
anon - thank you so much for the comment and for sharing your son's story. Little S has seen an orthophoniste who claimed he was fine, --she felt that it was more of a social disorder. He has many of the symptoms of Aspberegers but it's hard to diagnose at such a young age and it's not so well known in France. I hope we'll make some progress on his diagnosis before we leave.
lori - thank you, thank you! He actually is coming around to it S l o w l y. I've been reading through your blog a lot lately trying to imagine where to get started. I think there must be a letting go of the rope process and realizing we won't drown! It's just so hard to think of letting go even if mainstream schooling isn't working.
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