The sting

My daughter turned three this past week. I know I don't write much about her lately but she is quite a handful. A lovely handful, yes but very, very spirited.

Let me back up a bit...

I love astrology and I've read up on it constantly throughout my life so at one point during our many ivf trials and tribulations I thought "if this works out and I get pregnant I'll have LEO child,....oh dear" (Oh dear is absolutely right, and eek and aiye! & oh my...) The thought dangled in my mind for a few days and then of course as luck would have it I wasn't pregnant after all and there was no Leo child, "one blessing at least!" I said to myself. I know leos well and they aren't always easy for me. Maybe you don't have any Leos in your life and you don't have this problem but I have my fair share and trust me they aren't easy. For example I have a little cousin with a big blonde head like a little lioness, a typical Leo, and I remember her always saying to my aunt "hey you're not the boss 'round me!" and then crossing her arms in a haughty huff. She was only three and she ruled the home. My husband is a Leo and my cat is a Leo and I love both of them to death but both are impossibly self-centered and pig headed and sometime I can't believe how much so, but then I remind myself why by muttering "King of the Jungle" and stifling a yawn and Seb can usually laugh about how he's acting. He gives me a look of "oh sorry was I just doing that selfish epicenter of the world thing?" and I just shake my head yes. So like I said a Leo child was something I was quite happy to skip over as I calculated due dates for both of my children.

But wait,

no one ever told me about the Scorpio child...

which is worse.


Last week she turned three and today I watched out of the corner of my eye a little event that probably best sums up the nature of a Scorpio child. Her brother was teasing her, tugging on a toy or her napkin or something at the table and suddenly I saw this arm haul back and a spoon FLYING across the room, thud! As she threw it she screamed like a javelin thrower and I noticed the spoon narrowly missing S's ear in all the commotion. Of course I stopped my kitchen work and went straight in to work things out and as I looked into her eyes they were little peircing slits of viper poison. It was quite a sight in a three year old and yet nothing new really. The fierce glare is something I get a lot of as she goes through her challenging twos and threes, and heck I've even seen it in her baby years a few time.

So the last laugh is on me I guess. Who knew there was something worse than a lion's ego? When I say for example that she isn't adjusting at school I don't mean she's sad about going. No she's mad about it and she lets the whole building know it. She throws herself down on the ground legs and arms flailing in all direction and wails, "no, no, no, no!!" When I told her teacher, la directrice that she'd not be coming back I do think she'd breathed a sigh of relief. I can't say I didn't blame her.

I fight a lot of battles with her, --pyjamas, toothbrush, how to pee and what toilet to use (little potty or big), what she eats, seat belts, scarves and jackets. It's a daily struggle and her will is so strong she will fight to exhaustion over every single point. I usually give in first because I can't keep fighting. It feels like breaking a wild horse. It takes so much energy I can't do it every minute of the day.

I do love her and I get more kisses and affection from her than any mother can want or wish for; --intense, passionate motherly obsessional LOVE; --choking hugs, my face smothered in kisses and arms wrapped at my waist nearly 20 times a day. She adores me and needs me and lets me know so often I never need to question it. It's no wonder she breastfed so long. I'm surprised she ever stopped.

When I think about homeschooling her I do get kind of antsy about it. She may not be the type of personality to even be home-schooled, who knows. Her spirit seems to be liberated when she's in a group. She loves people and I think enjoys the hierarchy of traditional school--loved her teacher so much I think she did regret leaving for that reason alone because she talks about her often.

This isn't a rant about my child by any means. I adore her. She's wonderful, affectionate and sweet. I do wish I could learn to calm her temper and direct her strong will a little more. I'm learning and trust me I get a lot of advice about it, most bad. The blog The Parenting Passageway (in my sidebar) has really helped in the past six months and I can't believe I didn't know about it sooner. It's a goldmine of parenting wisdom, really incredible and not preachy at all but sound and intellectual. I've learned so much from it and really changed parenting styles because of it. Check it out.

Meanwhile go ahead and laugh as you picture the Leo dad confronting the Scorpio daughter. If you're an astrology buff I don't need to tell you who wins those battles.

(disclaimer--I am very fond of Leos and don't really feel as harsh about them as it sounds in this post. In fact in some weird way they fall into my life on a regular basis as predictable as autumns rain. I seem to attract/be attracted to them and I suppose my life would be dull without them. Shanghai anyone?)