Yesterday was a big day. It was a religious holiday in Mexico, baby Charlotte turned one month old and I got to meet the expat women in my neighborhood.
The "meet misschris" event was held at a woman´s house who lives three blocks away from me. About five moms showed up most looking like they´d stepped out of a Ralph Lauren catalogue--(luckily I didn´t wear my birks).
I have been feeling a little lost without freinds around but I am so used to making freinds slowly that when this expat community opened up I have to say that I was overwhelmed. They are all so incredibly nice though and I guess I´m actually pretty lucky to fall into immediate friends rather than having to wait for six months or a year or more. They already did the "help the new mom thing" of cooking me dinner twice this week. And they all have kids and Little S has built in playmates so I´m pleased for him. The only thing that´s hard to get used to is all the opulance: the country club, the new suv´s, the discussion of maids and expensive private schools. I feel like I´ve landed on planet bizarre. And it´s not like they´re snobs about it, it´s just the system that´s built up around the haves and have-nots and the haves have a lot because it´s easy to have a lot when you are an expat.
This system makes me feel forever awkward. I am in the middle of the haves and frankly it makes me uncomfortable. How did I get here anyway? On the other hand I´m happy for us. Little S deserves a good school and fun activities, Seb has worked so hard at his studies, his jobs and the house these past years that he deserves his perks and an easier life and I guess I deserve a dust free house and my five bathrooms after showering outside for four years don´t I ? At least that´s how I try to justify all the benefits of our new expat life. But for someone whose favorite book has always been City of Joy it´s a little strange to find myself in the middle of Gone With the Wind,-- more of a Melanie than a Scarlett.
It will be interesting to live life here for the next three years and see what we become and how we change. For us this is just a chapter and we will probably return in a three short years to France and pick up where we left off when we left, --small cars, public schools and a dusty old house. This might be hard and I will have to reread this post to remind myself that I once found the good life diffcult to adjust to.
1 comment:
I hear ya on the weird opulence. Having lived in a few developing countries as an expat, it's really hard to get used to, esp. as I was often working with refugees or really impoverished people. I didn't quite have the SUVs and country clubs (tho I did have a maid, which was wonderful!), but I was still definitely amongst the 'haves' and it's a weird position to be in (esp being on the poorer side when in the US). I'm honestly not sure you ever fully get used to it if it's not already your style, but you do learn to appreciate some of it - like the maid!
Enjoy your time there. Over time your expat circle will broaden and though you'll still always be haves in the land of have nots, you'll likely find more people who are a little less...opulent.
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